If you don’t know what clothes to wear, just ask tommy,
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
You wanna know what I don't like about babies?
They're all born with da fetus attitudes.
What?! You don't know what a zombie's least favorite food is? You'll figure it out
it's a no-brainer really.
Dad, showing me his pinky : "Did you know that the Chinese don't have that finger ?" Me : "What ? No." Dad : "wanna know why ?" Me: "yeah"
It's because it's MY pinky.
You know what happens if you don’t pay your exorcist?
It is okay if you don’t know what “prefix” means.
It’s not the end of the word.
son: dad, what's the secret to you and mom being happy? dad:we go out to a romantic dinner at least once a week. son:that's wonderful where do you go? dad:I like italian...I don't know where your mother goes.
What do you call a pie that you don’t know the flavor of?
Kid: “Can you make breakfast?” Dad: “What do you want?” Kid: “I don’t know.”
Dad: “I can make ‘I don’t know.’ I don’t know how to make it though.”
(From this morning. Kid is still scowling at me for this one.)
If you don't know what introspection is,
you need to take a long, hard look at yourself!
You know what I really don't understand?
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
The Great Dad Joke: So Moses is talking to God and he's all like "I don't know what to call you, I'm confused" and God is like "Hi confused, I AM".
My 11 year old daughter asked me tonight, "Dad, do you know what I don't get? "
apparently "An allowance?" wasn't the answer she wanted.
You know son, I'd really be proud if you could take on my work as a farmer, but don't worry about what kind of farming...
There are so many fields to chose from
You know what a porcupine's favorite sandwich is, don't you?
When I was about 11, I wore my hair in a ponytail. Dad asked me, "You know what's under a ponytail, don't you?"
You know what they say: Two wrongs don't make a right...
...but two Wrights make an airplane.
What do you do when you're an airplane at a fashion show and you don't know what you're doing?
Just go down the runway as fast as you can and wing it.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
If you don't know what a prefix is, don't worry.
It's not the end of the word.
You know what I don't understand
Me: "Son, you know what I don't understand"
Son: "What dad?"
Me: "French"
You know what I don't understand?
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