What do you call the top floor of a building if it's made from candy?
The pent house sweet
If an octopus is called an octopus because of its eight limbs, what would you call an octopus with only seven limbs?
An amputee.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Ο
Her: what kind if music do you listen to? Me: you probably haven't heard of it... It's pretty underground
If you want to know what it's like to be a suicide bomber?
You can C4 yourself.
If you ever wonder what its like to work at a power station
All that I can say is that the atmosphere is absolutely electrifying.
what would you call it if you had a female genie grant all of your wishes?
Miss-o-genie
Just thought of this, sorry if it sucks. What do you call a man that tries to use magic to solve math?
A math magician.
What would you call it if NASCAR ran their races in the opposite direction?
Alright alright alright.
What do you call it if a peanut, M&M, and raisin had to go to court?
trial mix.
What do you call it if meat falls from the sky ?
A meatier shower
what is green, fluffy, has four legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table
(I'm sorry, I'll let myself out, I know it was absolutely terrible even by dad joke standards)
If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
Bad at following directions
If you donβt know what prefix means, itβs ok.
Itβs not the end of the word.
If you sneeze while chewing a mouthful of nuts, what sound does it make?
Cashew!
If you drop a piano down a mine shaft, what key does it play?
A flat miner
What do you call a buttplug with a lightbulb in it if it was from the dollar store?
A cheap-ass light
What would you call it if the Hulk became Captain America?
A star-spangled Banner.
If you are what you eat, itβs fair to assume that you are also what you drink.
Thatβs why I keep my wife well supplied with lots of hottea.
What would you call it if the Russian president had diarrhea?
Putin on the shits.
My wife asked, "If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?"
I said, "Your husband."
If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?
An iWitness.
What type of dessert comes back to you if you throw it away?
A boom-meringue
If a Jewish man makes you a coffee, what do you call it?
A Hebrew.
What's green, has six legs, and if it fell out of a tree it'd kill you?
A snooker table.
What do you call a doctor who's off today but might have to come in if it gets busy?
An on-call-ogist.
The ASL sign for milk is pumping your fist once. But what do you get if you move it past your eyes?
Past-your-eyesed milk
If youβve never heard of jai alai, you should watch some jai-alaits to see what itβs all about
What do you do to your computer if it wonβt stop coughing?
Give it ROBOTussin
What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when itβs robbed?
An iWitness.
What will you call it if an immigrant starts arguing with a priest?
Alien Vs Predator
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi...
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Ο
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Ο
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Ο
Sorry, I'll see myself out
What has 4 legs, is green, and if it falls out of a tree can kill you?
A pool table
What Is Big, Green And If It Falls Out Of A Tree It Kills You
A Pool Table
What is large, green, has 4 legs, and would hurt you if it fell out of a tree and hit you?
A pool table
What is green, has legs and would kill you if it fell on your head from a tree?
A billiard table.
What's green has four legs and if it falls out of a tree will kill you?
A pool table
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
π€£
What is big and black and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you
A piano
Whatβs green, fuzzy, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A pool table
What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?
A pool table.
What has four legs, green fur, and if it drops on you from a tree, will kill you?
A pool table
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table.
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?
A pool table.
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree
A pool table.
Whatβs big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?
A pool table.
Whatβs green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree could kill you?
A pool table!
