Westbrook, Connecticut Puns

For the first time this season, there was actually the possibility of an upset here. Fortunately a good 4th quarter carried UConn to victory.

Phil

[Dean Cabinetry](https://redejobs.com/job.php?j=ed111f2

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

Because a toothbrush works better

Had to ground him until he could conduct himself properly.

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

..... Will get a reward.

The Bushes

Because they work on many levels

The article includes hours, phone numbers, and which vaccine is being administered at most locations: https://www.courant.com/coronavirus/hc-news-coronavirus-walk-in-vaccine-clinics-list-20210427-cwpbmmnjojdbhpbc2kmcx7yvni-story.html

English Apothecary, 140 Greenwood Avenue, Bethel

Bloomfield Senior Center, 330 Park Ave, Bloomfield

Southwest Community Health Center, 1020 Fairfield Avenue, Bridgeport

University of Bridgeport Wheeler Recreation Center, 400 University Avenue, Bridgeport

St. Joseph’s School, 5 Obtuse Hill Road, Brookfield

Costco Pharmacy, 200 Federal Road, Brookfield

Northeast District Department of Health, 69 South Main Street, Brooklyn

Danbury Mall, 7 Backus Avenue, Danbury

Greater Danbury Community Health Center, 132 Main Street, Danbury

Pratt & Whitney Airfield, 12 Runway Road, East Hartford

Able Care Pharmacy & Medical Supplies, 15 Palomba Drive, Enfield

Costco Pharmacy, 75 Freshwater Blvd, Enfield

Johnson Memorial Hospital Annex, 124 North Maple St., Enfield

Fairfield Health Department, 100 Mona Terrace, Fairfield

Brunswick School (Sampson Field House), 1252 Kings Street, Greenwich

Family Centers Health Care Mobile Clinic, 90 Harding Road, Greenwich

CT Convention Center, 100 Columbus Blvd., Hartford

Health Care Pharmacy, 740 Maple Ave, Hartford

Foxwoods Casino, 350 Trolley Line Boulevard, Mashantucket

Wesleyan Tennis Court Lot, 75 Vine Street, Middletown

Middletown Housing Authority, Maplewood Terrace, Middletown

Middletown Housing Authority, Traverse Square, Middletown

Cross Street AME Zion Church, 440 West St, Middletown

Costco Pharmacy, 1718 Boston Post Rd, Milford

Milford Pharmacy, 78 Broad Street, Milford

John Pettibone Community Center, 2 Pickett District Road, Milford

Parsons Gymnasium, 70 West River Street, Milford

St. Jude School, 707 Monroe Turnpike, Monroe

Costco Pharmacy, 405 Hartford Rd, New Britain

New Fairfield Senior Center, 33 Route 37, New Fairfield

Cornell Scott-Hill Wilson Library, 303 Washington Ave, New Haven

Cornell Scott-Hill Health Center, 226 Dixwell Ave, New Haven

Floyd Little Fieldhouse, 476 Sherman Parkway, New Haven

Lanman Center, 72 Lake Place, New Haven

Wilbur Cross High School, 181 Mitchell Drive, New Haven

Mitchell College, 629 Montauk Avenue, New London

John Pettibone Community Center, 2 Pickett District Road, New Milford

Costco Pharmacy, 779 Connecticut Ave, Norwalk

North Haven Recreation Center, 7 Linsley Street, North Haven

Greenville Drug Store, 213 Ce

..and as big as the last two put together.

Well, toucan play at that game.

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

I’d have $8.40

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Hello!

If you read yesterday's writeup (and more importantly, the comments section), you would have noticed that I was called out by u/plutoannatto. And let me just say... I needed it. My writeups were turning into a huge negativity fest. I was going for length over quality, and it got to the point where I was annoying even myself. So today, I'll keep it short and sweet. We're handing out the award for Transfer Player of the Year. The nominees are:

• Evina Westbrook, Connecticut (Tennessee)
• DiJonai Carrington, Baylor (Stanford)
• Shakira Austin, Ole Miss (Maryland)
• Jordan Nixon, Texas A&M (Notre Dame)
• Katie Benzan, Maryland (Harvard)

And the winner is...

DiJonia Carrington is the Transfer Player of the Year!

In the last few years, Kim Mulkey has taken to the grad-transfer guard like a duck to water. Carrington was possibly the highest-profile of these such transfers, as she was an instant and meaningful contributor to the Baylor Bears. She was the Big XII's newcomer of the year and 6th player of the year. And, oh yeah, add a notch towards the Pac-12 and Stanford's awards won this year too because Carrington left that stacked team/conference to shine at another supremely elite program.

Congrats to Carrington, and congrats to all the nominees!

Full results:

1. Carrington, 47.4%
2. Westbrook, 17.5%
3. Benzan, 14%
4. Austin, 12.3%
5. Nixon, 8.8%

The End :) ^((yes! I made it through without mentioning the controversial ending to the UConn game!))

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!