The other day, I was really worn out from work, but I have my family very well-trained in the ways of the Dad Joke

So, I was pretty worn out the other day and was not even close to my A game in terms of coherent conversation, let alone my sense of humor.

At dinner, the kids wanted some yogurt so my wife got up to get it and asked me, "Do you want some yogurt, Baby?"

I paused for a moment to actually decide whether I wanted some and must have made some weird look, because she immediately followed up with, "I know, I know, 'What's a yogurt baby?'"

The Dad Joke is strong in my home even when I'm not there to do the work. That is good news.

πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Mama Frog was really struggling with her youngest, Little Hop. He couldn’t seem to sit still!

That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.

You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.

Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..

And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, she’d say to Little Hop, β€œIf you keep on keepin’ on hoppin around all aimless, I’m gonna turn you into a toad!”

Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.

Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frog’s patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.

And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!

And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..

β€œI toad you so.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A daughter asked her father, "Why are they called shoes?"

The father said it was a very old story about two inventors named Johnson and Hues. One day Hues was working feverishly on his latest project and talking to himself out loud. Unfortunately for Johnson, his project was not going well and Hues' constant chatter was getting on his last nerve. Suddenly, Hues lept from his chair in excitement and said "I finally did it!" "I finally invented a protective layer of apparel to be worn on the feet!" Johnson was a timid man that never attempted to stifle Hues' talking, but he was about to snap. At last, Hues cried out one last time to himself "...but what shall I call them?", to which Johnson finally retorted, "SSSSHHHH, Hues!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkangel_Ash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my gf at church on Christmas

She was wearing those Hans Solo boots all the girls wear. Hers are pretty well worn, we were sitting quietly and she pointed out a spot where her foot had got wet.

I said "oh good, you wore your holey boots"

I only wish more people heard

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Owattrtrotn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.