I went to the doctors today and told him I was having a hard time hearing...

He asks me "What are the symptoms?"

I say to him "Well, it's a show about a family of yellow people living in Springfield. The father is bald with a bad temper, and the mom has tall blue hair-"

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📅︎ Jul 12 2022
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I've been trying to learn a Bach piece on a smart piano.

I was getting pretty frustrated, but the AI was always patient.

I asked "how come you're so patient and never getting angry at my mistakes?"

It replied "I'm a well tempered clavier."

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👤︎ u/kwan_e
📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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A woman's shrill can cause a glass to blow it's top.

But some glass is well tempered.

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👤︎ u/greedydita
📅︎ Nov 23 2021
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Man I hate grapes

Grapes suck man, I mean potatoes they're appealing ;) and can even grow back even after being smashed ;) out drunk, but grapes they just get drunk and wine and wine and wine ;), oh and corn, god who needs corn, they just party but pop off ;) for no reason, they say after its waters temper ;) but... well I guess water is not good either, they get angry and just boil ;) over... oh and I heard some news about tomatoes they had an affair with cherries ;), I heard that tomatoes wife is gonna get revenge by dewing grass ;), but I can only say one thing the plant party was wild last night.

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👤︎ u/Mjk2581
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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A man brought his son to the grocery store...

A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.

Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon."

A nearby mother was very impressed with the father's self control, and wanted to express her gratitude for such calm parenting. "Sir, I'm amazed that you are able to be so calm! It's not every day I see such patient and gracious parenting. Now little guy, what seems to be the problem, Donald?"

"Oh no, ma'am, you're mistaken!" The father interjected, "This is my son, Henry. I'm Donald!"

^(Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you for all you do.)

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👤︎ u/J-Sluit
📅︎ Jun 21 2015
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