Weekend World Puns

It was a great pyramid of geezers.

Too bad it’s Payperview

I’m headed to a Halloween mashup party this weekend and I need a costume - think “Eggs and Hamlet” or “Brokeback Mountain Dew” or “Zom-bee” - I felt like the reddit pun world might be able to hook me up - any suggestions?

I was at an Arabic-themed pop-up bar with some friends last weekend, where all the drinks were named for places and things relating to the Arab world, etc. Everyone's favorite drink was a punch called "Fuck ISIS" (which was delicious), and I said "Wow, a punch named for a current event... I guess one could call it... topical punch."

Ba-dum psh.

A little background: my husband and I have always had to stay in the makeshift bedroom in the basement when we visited my parents because we would visit during holidays and the nice upstairs guest room would always be taken by people older than us. We are visiting them this weekend and my mom texted me to let us know that we will be using the guest room for the first time.

Me: Oh nice, we get to sleep in the guest room instead on the air mattress in the basement.

Husband: It looks like we're moving up in the world!

Me: -groan-

I normally telegraph my jokes, but this one was totally natural... Talking to my wife about my sister's upcoming trip to DisneyWorld and how they were going in May...

Wife..."have talked to your sister about crowds because of the opening of Pandora at Animal Kingdom?"

"Yeh, they are going down opening weekend, but skipping Animal Kingdom completely, I bet it's going to be a real zoo there..."

Edit

Obligatory eye roll and groan.

"Holy crap, I didn't even do that on purpose!"

Setup: It's 74 degrees outside and about to freeze by the weekend.

Me: It's like summer outside and it's going to freeze in a few days. It's like the world is bipolar.

Wife: MASSIVE FACEPALM