The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
I would have a daughter
Hey everyone,
After over a year long ordeal, my wife and I, and more importantly my dog have finally had a small element of justice realized.
This is a throw away account but I do want to call out the incredible vet that saved our beloved dog.
Dr. Chris Milligan and his team at Central Island Veterinary Emergency Hospital absolutely saved our dog, he mentioned to us that had he been brought in 20 minutes later he'd no longer be here. The injuries aren't detailed in the story so, I apologize to anyone that is squeamish the next details are graphic.
Our dog was admitted Christmas eve 2019, my wife and I were visiting her family in South America (pre pandemic). He was admitted near death, at first we feared that he had some sort of issue being an older dog. When his abdomen was shaved it revealed the bruising, we agreed to expend whatever we could to save him, including surgery that was unlikely to be successful. When he was "opened up" the true extent of the injuries was known:
A ruptured bladder, causing urine to leak into his abdomen causing a condition known as peritonitis (infected abdomen) .
A Lacerated liver that was put back together with a mesh.
Pancreatitis (an inflamed pancreas from trauma)
Lastly and most disturbingly in the words of Dr. Milligan, "trauma to the rectum that is unexplained".
Thanks to amazing work by Dr. Milligan, and luck, divine intervention, miracle or whatever faith you believe in our pup is still with us today, my wife maintains an instagram for him here, and he just celebrated his 13th birthday!
https://www.instagram.com/xaskaa_the_malinois/?hl=en
EDIT2:
More concerning news about this guy from this facebook thread this is an escalating pattern:
https://www.facebook.com/853392374784157/posts/3763316000458432/?d=n
I couldn’t agree more. I went to high school with this guy, dated him for a few weeks and when we broke up, he assaulted me at school, in front of teachers and students. Obviously we went to charge him, but his hockey coach and wealthy p
... keep reading on reddit ➡But Bill kept the Windows
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
I was able to move my first shot up from the 28th to the 10th, with many more options next week available as well. Maybe they've had cancellations from people going to pharmacy ones.
Go to your current confirmation email, click "Appointment Details", and top left under WDG Public Health go to "< Back" and then book a new time slot. After confirmation of your new time, go back in to your previous appointment details and cancel appointment at the bottom.
Update: For anyone on the fence I got it today as expected, they were poking Moderna. Bonus at check-out I was able to book my second dose!
And then you will all be sorry.
Now it’s syncing.
He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
She said how do you know he was headed to work?
I will find you. You have my Word.
“thank you for your cervix.”
...sails are going through the roof.
Hey guys! As usual, Since almost all my cards are Japanese, I use eBay sold or current listings and I price them 10% or more under.
Most of my cards are between NM and LP.
Like always, Shipping and fees will be on the buyer, and worldwide shipping is $4. If via letter envelope, it’s 50¢ to the US.
Here’s the verification of all the high end cards: Verification
Here’s the rest of the cards:
Made me smile
You officially hit rock bottom
Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...
A taxi
But now I stand corrected.
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
Wookie mistake.
Theoretical Fizz-ics
Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark
I said, “That makes two of us.”
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly.
An assassin
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
