I got arrested for dumping ice under the overpass last night. I thought they would have let me go this morning.

Surely it's just water under the bridge by now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure

but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I was really angry with my friend for building a walkway over my pond...

...I’ve forgiven him now. It’s just water under the bridge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Mote
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Did you hear about the bridge that washed away in Nebraska recently?

I hear it’s all water under the bridge now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CritLuck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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On tying boats to the top of the car

Dad: hey son, why do you think they strap the boat to the top of the car like that?

Me: well, if it was flipped the other way, I would think the wind would catch it or something.

Dad: no, they do that because if the car flipped on a bridge over water, the boat would let them float on the water.

Me: sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakefries
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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There are three classes of cheerios

There are three classes of cheerios, the lower class (plain ol' cheerios), the middle class cheerios (frosted), and the elite class (honey nut). One soggy morning in Seattle, a plain cheerio awoke in his single room apartment. He looked out at the still sleepy city, blanketed in a mist of rain. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes on, this would be the day. He stood propped against the bus stop, smoking a cigarette. "God I have got to stop this habit." He thought to himself. Glancing back and forth at the bustle of cheerios, he saw her. She looked about 25, devastatingly gorgeous, and he could smell the honey from where he stood. "Excuse me ma'am," his voice quivered, "I - I think you might be the most beautiful cheerio I have ever seen." She smiled and her otherwise golden brown face grew red. " This is a long shot, but will you marry me?' She was obviously caught off guard by this, but her red lips formed the word, "Yes." They raced through the morning mist of the city, and arrived at her fathers house. The cheerio bent down in front of her father. "Sir, I would like to ask for your blessing in marrying your daughter" "No! You are a regular cheerio and my daughter needs a high quality honey nut" he snapped. "But sir." "No means no damnit!" "Sir this is very unrea-" "You come back a honey nut and you'll have my blessing, my daughter is not about to marry a low life like you." The cheerio sprinted home, tears streaming down his face. He fumbled against the lock and sprawled out on his bed. When he awoke it was early, his sheets had a dark silhouette from his wet jacket. He sat up and lit a cigarette. "Damn." he sighed to himself. Walking in front of his mirror, he noticed something different. His body was frosted! He had become a frosted cheerio! He darted out the door without shoes, reaching the honey nut household in no time at all. He banged on the door, and the beauty's father answered. "Sir I am a changed cheerio! I'm frosted!" he exclaimed. Her father had a stern look on his face. "You think you are any better? The dirt on my boots are worth more than you." he hissed. The old honey nut slammed the door on the young frosted. He heard the deadbolt click. The newly frosted cheerio didn't take the same way home. He stood on the edge of a bridge, feeling the cool autumn wind on his sugar coated skin. Was he really going to go through with this? Was it worth it? No he was a frosted cheerio now. He couldn't get the girl, but he was a changed cheerio. He

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R1pply
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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Listening to a story on NPR about the Crimea Bridge.

I didn't catch the name of the body of water the bridge goes over. Is it the Crimea River?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sudtle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
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