One day I hope to explore all the cool things in Madison County, Iowa...
But I’m just not ready to cross those bridges.
"Hello. This is my friend Warren Buffett."
And my name is Peter Lunch.
One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.
“Sorry, mister,” he said. “I’m up to my ears in work.”
So, if you put Arlington County in Virginia together with Washington, D.C.,
Could that area be called AC/DC?
Which county in England has just two letters in its name?
My son is going to college in a town in Iowa...
He Ames to get a good education.
A rabbit gang leader has gone into hiding underground...
There's a warren out for his arrest!
I thought of a joke about Iowa.
I went to this restaurant called Warren one time in college
It really was a terrible buffet
Despite curfews in place around the county, cops are out all night clubbing.
The only reason I am voting for Elizabeth Warren is that she will bring stability to the White House. She will never be impeached.
She comes with a warranty.
Has anyone got the results from the Iowa...
When I went to the county courthouse to pay my fines with a bag full of dimes, the clerk wasn't very happy...
The county fair had some interesting shows
Why do Hipsters love Warren Harding?
Because he was President before it was Cool-idge
Dunno if you heard it
What do you call an ant which came to you from another county?
Important
What do you call a guy who lives in a hole ?
I moved to Iowa so I could
Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
How did Mountain Lions get to Iowa?
Some kid was shining a laser pointer out the window on a flight from Denver to Des Moines.
Warren Buffet (self-made billionaire) holds an annual conference for aspiring entrepreneurs.
When they go to lunch during the conference, they eat from the “Buffett Buffet.”
Why is Warren Buffett so healthy for his age?
Why are Kansas and Iowa always so bummed out?
Because Missouri loves company!
3,000 dads just made the same joke at the Purdue-Iowa game
A bunch of ROTC kids were getting sworn in at halftime and the lady says, "I, state your name." And I swear to you, half the dads in the stadium go, "I state your name" followed by stifled chuckles
Man, Warren Buffet is so goddamned rich.
Every time I go to one of his restaurants they let you eat whatever you want.
What county is known for having the best sales?
I’m such a state! What will Della wear to the picnic? And who else will be there? What will we do?
I think Texas coming. What will Delaware? I don’t know, Alaska! Iowa thanks to you for bringing this up! Maybe we can play some Tennessee? Indiana just don’t think we’ll know what to expect. Like last time, we don’t know Michigan.
Did you hear about the guy who got lost sailing from Marin County to Catalina Island?
He left his chart in San Francisco.
My friend is a county-renowned dermatologist...
He often makes rash decisions.
Driving, usually on the highway or the county...
Me: Oh, look! A flock of cows.
Daughter: HERD of cows!
Me: Of course I've heard of them, there's a flock right there!
A tiny hamlet in my county burned down completely because a kid was playing with matches.
It takes a child to raze a village.
Where is the baby?
In a small county in Southeast Asia there is a small child.
The child loves to eat his delicious baby food and does so constantly.
In what country does the child live?
Viet-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM
My wife and I were driving by the county jail and we saw a midget who was climbing out the window attempting to escape.
I said, "Well that's a little con-descending."
Driving through Iowa...
Silence as we pass fields and fields of crops with hay all tied up into nice cylindrical bundles when my dad says, "Huh... How's a cow supposed to get a square meal around here?"
What’s the best food to talk to?
Why did the British conquer so much land?
They needed more proper tea.
I took a drive to Des Moines to see the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
It was my first Iowa ska trip.
Does this county?
When anyone mentions anything about the county of Surrey I always say 'Well there is no need to apologize'.
Good one for the dad joke bank (UKDJB)
A powerful explosion in the county courtroom...
...had considerable impact on the prosecutor's hearing.
A lot of people recognized him, considering the work he did for a popular county newspaper.
Random Person: I think I've seen you somewhere before..
Dad: Probably. They have my picture hanging up in the post office.
Have you heard that joke about Iowa?
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