The first letter of the sign of a derelict hotel fell off and killed a man.
Mommy tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato were all out for a leisurely Sunday stroll
They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.
It was a perfect Sunday.
Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.
They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage.
Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said
"Ketchup"
Why don’t hotels have libraries?
That would make it too easy to book a room!
A hotel just offered me a job making beds...
I think I'll turn them down.
I rely on hotels so much,
I've actually become quite inn-dependent.
Why are skinny jeans like a cheap hotel?
Why is an Australian prisoner like an Australian hotel?
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
I got tickets for the next Super Bowl plus hotel and airfare, but it turns out my wedding is on the same day!
If you'd like to go instead, it's at St. Peter's Church on Main Street at 6:00 pm. Her name is Melanie and she'll be wearing all white.
DC and Warner Bros are creating a new Wonder Man movie
They even got a new actor to play the main role: Guy Gadot.
So my hotel just tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning..
I went on a vacation to Hungary, but I couldn't find a hotel with any vacancies.
A Man in a hotel has trouble finding his room, goes down to the front desk and asks ' Excuse me, can you tell me what room I'm in please ? '
Certainly Sir, said the receptionist...this is the Lobby.
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he can assist with any luggage.
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
The worst hotel I've ever stayed in was called "The Fiddle".
Why was the television repair man called out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers hotel room?
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
Why do they call the top rooms in a hotel the suite?
'Cause when you open the door to walk in you say .... 'sweeeeet'
A man is staying in a hotel.
He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
From my son. "What do you call Coffee for sad people?"
The Russian president was spotted on the roof of a hotel.
At that point, he was truly Putin on the Ritz.
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said don’t forget your Baghdad.
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?
I think space exploration is a waste of time.
There are many better things to do for leisure than stare at a computer keyboard all day.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff.
After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor.
He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
A photon checks into a hotel. "Need any help with your luggage sir?" asks the porter.
"No thanks " replies the photon. "I am travelling light."
The AC was broken at the hotel lobby I am staying at.
I wasn't expecting such a warm reception.
What do well bred people do in their leisure time?
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
My hotel elevator. Schindler’s Lift
I was planing on taking a shower at my hotel today...
...but apparently they bolt those things to the wall.
A photon walks into a hotel
The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage? The photon replies, "No thank you, I'm traveling light."
I’m pretty sure that the hotel receptionist was checking me out.
What does u/username do when he hates the hotel he’s staying at?
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.
I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)
What do you call hotel with a lot of floors?
Skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel room....
What do you call a chess club bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chessnuts boasting in an open foyer
What do you call a bunch of chess nerds bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
The worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in was called The Fiddle.
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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