Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
[Removed]
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Mary Edith Wells was born 11 Jul 1861 in Wooster, Wayne County, Ohio, where most of her father's family was living prior to the Civil War. Her family migrated to Iowa but her father and his twin brother fought with an Ohio regiment. Her father was a victim of the 1865 Sultana ship disaster on his way back home from Cahaba Prison.
I've been able to solve most of the oral history (two Wells brothers married sisters, etc) but I've been unable to solve the one about a long, lost sister. In 1870 she's listed, with her sister, Nettie, at the Orphan Home Davenport Township, Scott County, Iowa. After that, nothing, until I found a record of a marriage in Ontario, Canada (across from Detroit, Michigan).
The record index indicates that she married a Richard Jas Scholes (indexed as Scholss) on 16 Nov, 1892 in Walkerville, Essex, Ontario Canada at the age of 29. Richard was 2 years younger. The records lists the correct father's first and last name and her mother's first name which makes no doubt this is her. I find a divorce record for her in Wayne County, Michigan (probably Detroit) for July 19 1897. She is listed as Marie E. Scholes. Wayne County could not tell me if she took her maiden name back or kept Scholes. Either way I have not been able to find a record for her after 1897. (Richard goes on to a second marriage and family in Michigan) Her brother, William Wells, died 1919 in Grundy County, Iowa, and her sister, Nettie Brimhall, died in 1924 in Jackson County, Missouri). Nothing on being a surviving sibling. Nothing.
I did see these tidbits in Detroit newspapers.
Detroit Free Press (Detroit, Michigan) Tue, Jan 28, 1896
Police Court Notes
Dr. Towner and Mrs. Scholes Held for Examination Dr. George H. Towner and Marie E. Scholes pleaded not guilty to the charge proferred against them in the Police Court yesterday, and their examination was set for January 31; bail $3** one surety each.
Detroit Free Press (Detroit, Michigan) Thu, March 5, 1896 p 5
Dr. G. Heaton Towner and Mrs. Mary Scholes, arrested on complaint of the latter's husband were discharged in the Recorder's Court yesterday morning, upon the request of the complainant.
and additional information on Dr. Towner since I don't know what occured in Jan. 1896.
Detroit Free Press (Detroit, Michigan) Sun, Jun 17, 1900 Page 17
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
