Viktor Tikhonov Puns

As per McLellan:

Maloney has also reached out to Viktor Tikhonov's agent to see if he has interest in returning to NHL.

Tikhonov (Coyotes' RFA) currently leads World Championship tournament with seven goals and 14 points for Russia.

Coyotes still technically have his NHL rights, so there is a slim possibility that we get a new russian for next year. Not likely, but still possible.

It's KHL week with the ongoing series I've been running (hub post link is here), I'd like to ask you the redditor whether Viktor Tikhonov should be in the Hockey Hall of Fame. A brief reminder of the rules:

• I'm going to list a player/coach who is a borderline Hall of Famer. No joke answers, no layups, and the only active players would be in the twilight of their careers.
• I'll list some notable stats about the individual, just so you have a reference to work from
• The most important rule: You list reasons as to why the player/coach SHOULD and SHOULDN'T make the Hall of Fame, listing both sides of the argument. NOTE: It's all based on your opinion. It's not about the voters; it's not why he will or will not make the Hall of Fame. Don't say "He will never make the Hall of Fame because he doesn't have voter support"; that's not the point.
• Try to keep to serious responses only.

Viktor Tikhonov notable awards

• 12 straight Soviet titles (1978–1989)
• World Championship gold in 1978–1979, 1981–1983, 1986, 1989, 1990.
• Olympics gold in 1984, 1988, 1992; silver in 1980.
• 1979 Challenge Cup and 1981 Canada Cup.
• Chevalier of the Olympic Order
• IIHF Hall of Fame (1998)

I don't know much about Viktor Tikhonov and would like to know a bit about his game.. I know he complemented Panarin well last season for St Petersberg but I also see he scored 24 pts in 49 games.. hence I've been surprised to see a lot of posts expecting him to earn a spot on our lineup over a lot of talented forwards.

What will he add to our team?

Their friendship and chemistry built within the 3 months they played together in Arizona. They found a way to sign with the same KHL team. If the Coyotes never traded for Plotnikov, or claimed Tikhonov off waivers, they probably wouldn't have the same friendship they do today.

Sorry, I'm bored and this showerthought found it's way into my mind. I felt like I needed to post this haha.

http://thehockeywriters.com/interview-with-habs-defenseman-andrei-markov/

What's his status with the Coyotes? The NHL? I seem to remember the Coyotes allowing him to play in Russia but I never heard about any compensation. Do they still own his rights? I have a feeling he's in Russia for good but I'm just curious.

http://www.si.com/college-football/2014/11/24/espn-alabama-auburn-cbs-sec-ole-miss-mississippi-state?page=2&devicetype=default

Filmmaker Brian Hyland, who directed and produced HBO’s terrific 2001 documentary on the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team, Do You Believe in Miracles?, sends along the below note on what it was like to interview the famed Soviet hockey coach Viktor Tikhonov, who died at 84 earlier this week.

"In July, 2000 I traveled to Russia to speak with some of the guys from the Soviet team to hear what it was like to be on the losing side of the great upset. I was treated wonderfully and got the main interviews I wanted. Except for one. I was determined to get Tikanov to sit down before I left Moscow. On my last day there I got a chance to make my pitch.

"I don't know if he was briefed on why I was there but my translator and I were ushered into Tikanov's office by an underling. It was a blazing, sunny afternoon but the shades were drawn and the room was lit like the opening scene of The Godfather. He sat behind a desk in a high backed swivel chair, turned away from us. For a moment I imagined myself as [Amerigo] Bonasera the undertaker preparing to ask the Don to exact revenge on behalf of his daughter.

"My translator Andrei had been a bold, fearless comrade and collaborator through my entire time in Russia. He was intimately familiar with everyone in the Russian hockey hierarchy - except Tikanov - and was now was s******* himself with fear as we stood in the office. Andrei nudged me to start my pitch and I began a 20-minute pitch/performance of what I hoped the film would be and the vital role he would play in it.

"As I spoke I could hear Andrei stutter the Russian translation. I actually recognized Russian stuttering, it was that pronounced. Still I made a compelling case, full of New York City I can talk to anybody bravado. Midway through this command performance his chair slowly turned to where, by the end of my pitch, he faced us. I ended strong, with a sweet smile, and a promise to be fair, that he could trust me.

"Tikanov stared straight at me, like Khrushchev must've stared at JFK at their first meeting in Vienna. He arched one eyebrow, like only Belushi ever could, and in one word, offered his verdict on me, my idea, my film, my stuttering interpreter, and what felt like my life and my existence on the planet.

"He said 'NYET.'

"With that he swiveled his chair back around, the room grew darker and Russian Andrei said to me, i

oops last title was wrong, it was supposed to be year 7. This is 8. Ok anyways.

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Free Agency

. Defenseman Al MacInnis retires from the NHL after 24 years and 1614 points with 357 goals and 1042 assists.

Brett Hull retires after 19 years 1360 games, 732 goals and 622 assists.

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Former rocket winner Tony Amonte leaves the Rangers and joins the Ducks.

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Kozlov leaves the Red Wings and joins Ilya Kovalchuk in Tampa

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Fedorov leaves the Red Wings and joins the second to last place Canucks.

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The Dominator, Hasek himself, leaves the Flyers to join the Jets. Things are looking up for the franchise if a star like him chooses to go there.

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Elias leaves the Devils after a game 7 finals loss to join the Wings. Probably didn't get the news that everyone was leaving.

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St Louis joins Bure and Yzerman in Chicago to win himself a cup.

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Regular Season Summary

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Starting with Bure (CHI) yet again, he scores another 72 goals, but doesn't lead the league in points with his 112. Alfredsson does with his 48-66-114. .

Loui Eriksson comes out swinging like a howler monkey and has 49 goals and 82 points in his rookie year, coming to tie the rookie record of 84. .

Yzerman cracks 2000 points with an 86 point season in a presidents trophy winning season with the Hawks. St Louis has 62 goals for second in the league on his line.

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Semin (BOS) scores 48 for the second season straight to start his career. Gaborik has 91 points for the Blue Jackets, his next best teammate has 50. Kopitar has 19 points in his rookie year with the club.

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Ovechkin (WSH) has only 13 goals and 13 assists in 73 games in his rookie year. Hopefully this turns around. Imagine if Loui turns into the better goal scorer.

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Forsberg (COL) is still kicking around, him and his teammates make it 3rd in the western conference, 3 of them in the top 5 of plus-minus.

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Kovalchuk has 58 goals and 110 points.

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There are no stand out offensive defensemen, but Niedermeyer (CHI), Visnovsky (STL), and Ozolins (COL) lead the league with 68, 68, 67 points respectively.

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The Playoffs

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https://imgur.com/a/oQ2AbC1

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Carolina wins in 2006, the same as in real life. This time against the Predators. The young stars Neal, Phaneuf, Lupil, Zetterberg, and Daniel Sedin go on a miracle run through two of the toughest teams in the league, as well as Theo Fluery and Shane Doan's Yotes. Henrik Ludqvist gets his cup next to Ryan Callahan, rectifying a mistake in real life.

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Bure has

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Let be throw up a warning here. This is total fluff. No DD, no charts or anything even remotely mathematical or technical. I don't know exactly why, but one of my favorite lines from the movie Miracle just hit me when I was looking through Superstonk.

Spoiler alert - don't read ahead if you haven't watched the movie Miracle or heard a single thing about the 1980 Olympic hockey game between the USA and Soviet Union.

In the closing moments of the game, Herb Brooks looks over at the Soviet bench and he sees their coach, Viktor Tikhonov, yelling at his players and ignoring the opportunity to do what any coach would normally do under those circumstances, which is to pull their goalie for an extra skater. Instead, Tikhonov was completely thrown off because his powerhouse team of seasoned, professional hockey players was about to lose to a team of college kids averaging 21 years of age. The Soviet Union, up until that point, had won the last 4 gold medals in olympic hockey, had the best goalie in the world and one year prior had twice beaten an NHL All-Star team made up of 20 future hall of famers. They were literally unstoppable. The absolute best at what they did, day in and day out. There was no reason for them, or anyone else for that matter, to think they would lose the game against the USA. But I think you may know what happened. They lost.

You can see how the team, and more specifically the coach, lost control, focus and the ability to win in the way they were so used to doing. Tikhonov inexplicably removed Vladimir Tretiak from goal after allowing two goals to the US team in the first period. This was the best goalie in the world, hands down. Nobody would likely even consider arguing that he was the best at that time. But the coach removed him because he was shaken by the US team's performance and he felt the blame was to be placed on the goaltender. Fast forward to the end of the game, where there are mere minutes, and then seconds, remaining and the Soviet Union is down by one. Any coach from youth to the pros would be pulling their goalie to put out the extra skater for one last attempt at getting the tying goal. Tikhonov didn't do that. Instead he was visibly flustered and shouted at his players as if that was going to make the difference, rather than putting an extra attacker on the ice. The end result? The massive underdogs, the team that had barely finished their college years who came together only a short time ago and had recently

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?