Veterinary Valentines Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

• If you find your book in the thread below, send the number of the book via reddit chat or via telegram .
• Almost all the books are in their latest editions and some of them are available in multiple editions too
• Books (pdf) are delivered through Google-Drive link
• You can also send requests via reddit chat or by telegram .
• Also, upvote the post if you found it useful

Please find the list below:

11201. US: A Narrative History Volume 1: To 1877, 8th Edition: James West Davidson

11202. Starting Out with Python, 5th Edition: Tony Gaddis

11203. Sanders' Paramedic Textbook Includes Navigate 2 Essentials Access, 5th Edition: Mick J. Sanders & AAOS & Kim McKenna

11204. Sanders' Paramedic Student Workbook, 5th Edition: Mick J. Sanders & American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS)

11205. Philosophical, Ideological, and Theoretical Perspectives on Education, 2nd Edition: Gerald L. Gutek

11206. Metaphysics, Meaning, and Modality: Themes from Kit Fine: Mircea Dumitru

11207. Learning Theories: An Educational Perspective, 8th Edition: Dale Schunk

11208. Investments, 9th Canadian Edition: Zvi Bodie & Alex Kane & Alan Marcus & Lorne Switzer

11209. Intelligence Analysis: A Target-Centric Approach, 6th Edition: Robert M. Clark

11210. HR3 with CourseMate, 1 term, 3rd Edition: Angelo DeNisi & Ricky Griffin

11211. Horngren's Accounting, Volume 2, 11th Canadian Edition: Tracie Miller-Nobles & Brenda Mattison & Ella Mae Matsumura

11212. Fundamentals of Business Organizations for Paralegals, 6th Edition: Deborah E. Bouchoux

11213. Financial Accounting, 15th Edition: Carl S. Warren & James M. Reeve & Jonathan Duchac

11214. Contemporary Business, 18th Edition: Louis E. Boone & David L. Kurtz & Susan Berston

11215. Auditing: Assurance and Risk, 4th Edition: W. Robert Knechel & Steven E. Salterio

11216. Beginner's Guide to SOLIDWORKS 2020, Level II: Alejandro Reyes

11217. CCNA 200-301 Official Cert Guide, Volume 1, 1st Edition: Odom Wendell

11218. CCNA 200-301 Official Cert Guide, Volume 2, 1st Edition: Odom Wendell

11219. The New One Minute Manager, 1st Edition: Ken Blanchard & Spencer Johnson

11220. Mosby's Guide to Nursing Diagnosis, 6th Edition: Gail B. Ladwig & Betty J. Ackley & Mary Beth Makic

11221. Your Research Project: Designing, Planning, and Getting Started, 4th Edit

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.