My wifeโ€™s name is Vera. Every morning I wake up and say โ€œCactus..!!!!โ€

Well itโ€™s quicker than saying โ€œโ€˜Allo Vera...!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/robbiebrown64
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dadjoked the little sister today.

Her: Wow, look at this coin purse. It cost twelve dollars.

Me: Why is it that expensive? It looks like it's worth less than half that.

Her: Well, you know...it is the Vera Bradley brand, and name-brand things always cost more.

Me: Well it seems like that is vera bradley priced.

I^felt^so^proud

๐Ÿ‘︎ 68
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IAmDrinkingIcedTea
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So my dad uses this drug called Allosig...

Every time he pulls it out of the medicine cabinet, the family hears a great big 'ALLO SIG' from Dad, as if he were a cockney brit saying hi to someone named Sig.

Every bloody time. Same thing happens if any of us need aloe vera.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coz707
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.