Venus And Mars Puns

But they didn’t planet.

The earth is doomed, women should go back to Venus, men to Mars, and us gays will go deep into Uranus

... she asked me, "are any hot?"

I said, "Yes, Mercury and Venus are hot because they are so close to the sun."

She asked, "Are any cold?"

"Yes, the ones outside our orbit are cold. Mars, Jupiter and so on."

"What color are they?", she asked...

"Well, the Earth is blue and green, Mars is red because of iron, Jupiter has a cool red spot..."

"What color is Uranus?"

.... .... ....

"It's brown, and very windy."

A friend an I were driving home when I noticed two bright stars in the sky I knew to be planets.

Me: "Do you know what planets those are?"

Him: "I don't know... Mars and Venus?".

Me: "I'm pretty sure they're Venus and Jupiter"

Him: "Yeah, I had no idea. I just pulled two planet names out of my..."

Me: "Uranus?"

But they didn't planet

...But they didn't planet that way.

but they didn't planet that way