Vejle County Puns

Hello, and welcome to the end of the 2021 summer's transfer window! It has been an extremely wild ride, one that we will definitely look back at in the future, and we still have a couple of hours for more fun! Feel free to post any rumour and official announcement here, the later will be added to the table!!!

## CONFIRMED DEALS

Greetings my Danish friends!

I've been living in Denmark for about 1.5 years and prior to the pandemic I lived in a county with Dolby Cinema. I work in video production ... so I may be a fidelity snob. Just hoping to have a good theater experience again. The Dolby Cinema laser projection has spoiled me ... their inky blacks are much like OLED TVs where you can have complete darkness even with the projector still on. Plus the audio set up in their theaters is next level. Since then, standard theaters and IMAX just doesn't compare. About a month ago I went to a movie theater for the first time since the pandemic started – went to an IMAX and was pretty disappointed by the visual quality.

Has anyone here heard of a similar projection quality? It doesn't need to be Dolby at all but more so that level of image quality and richness of sound. In the past, I have seen these theaters as just sections of other theaters with only 1-2 screens per location. Any information would be helpful. Ilive near Fredericia but often visit Odense, Vejle, and Kolding.

Sorry this isn't in Danish.  My Danish isn't quite good enough to describe visual detail and terms.

EDIT:
Sorry just finally finished meal prepping for the week for my spouse and I. Sadly I'm not in the Copenhagen area, I'm in the Frederica area. Has anyone heard of something like Imperial but on Fyn or the neighboring Jutland region.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

#Poland via /u/Klejnot__Nilu ## About

Nicknames: The White and Reds (Biało-czerwoni)

EURO Appearances: 3

Best Finish: Quarter-finals (2016)

FIFA Ranking: 21 (14 in UEFA)

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# Introduction

Poland National Team has competed at eight World Cups with their first appearance being in 1938, when they were eliminated by Brazil after crazy 5-6 defeat. The country's best result is 3rd place which Poland took in 1974 and 1982, with this era being regarded as the golden era of Polish football. However, even during these best years, Poland didn't qualify for the European Championship. Ironically, their first EURO appearance took place in 2008, when the quality of squad seemed to be historically low. After impressive qualifiers, in which Poland finished 1st (above Portugal, Belgium and Serbia), the team crashed in a group stage in a classical "opening game - game for everything - game for honor" scenario. The only goal (and thus first one in history) was scored by naturalized Brazilian Roger Guerreiro in 1-1 draw with Austria. 4 years later, Poland, host of the tournament, took the last place in likely the weakest group in history of European Championship (Russia, Czechia, Greece). This event traumatized a lot of people and some of them even stopped following international football. However, in 2016 Polish team played their best football in 21st century and reached quarter-finals. Poland was eliminated by Portugal after penalties (and Błaszczykowski's infamous miss), but people were generally satisfied.

Under the tenure of Jerzy "Uncle Buzzer" Brzęczek, Poland easily qualified to EURO 2020 and avoided relegation from League A of UEFA Nations League twice. Despite enormous success, he was sacked in January. Under pressure, Polish FA listened to internet haters who made fun of Brzęczek because he's from a small town and has diastema. We shall never forget this act of barbarism…

Just kidding, but that's what he seems to believe. Seriously though, Brzęczek was one of the most criticised and controversial managers in history of Polish football. During 2,5 years of his tenure national team not only didn't make any progress, but actually regressed. The most common arguments a

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.