Vasudeva I Puns

Srila Prabhupada:

mayatite vyapi-vaikuntha-loke

purnaishvarye shri-catur-vyuha-madhye

rupam yasya udbhati sankarshanakhyam

tam shri-nityananda-ramam prapadye

So identification of Nityananda Prabhu. So He is the second Sankarshana also. The first Sankarshana... From Vasudeva, Sankarshana, Pradyumna, Aniruddha, four, quadruple expansions of Balarama... Then, from Sankarshana, first Sankarsana, the Narayana, four-handed Narayana, that is the next expansion, and again, from Narayana, there is another quadruple expansion, second Sankarshana, Vasudeva, Pradyumna. So the second Sankarshana also is expansion of Nityananda Rama, Balarama. So where is this Vaikunthaloka? It is rather imprudent to inquire because we cannot calculate even this material world, what is the length and breadth of this universe. This is only one universe. This is called mayika brahmananda. Mayika means shadow. Shadow... Shadow is existing on account of the real. So therefore it is called maya. Just like the example is, in your country, in the window, there are many nice model, beautiful women standing or a man standing, nicely dressed, but that is not real man or woman. That is shadow. That is called maya. This is the example of maya. Maya means it is not fact, but it appears like fact. That is called maya. Another example is... Just like the mirage, water in the desert. Actually there is no water, but it appears that there is water. The foolish animals, they run after this water, but there is no water. Simply running after will o' the wisp, phantasmagoria. So every one of us in this material world—hankering after happiness. Everyone is trying to be happy. But it is like the same, that there is no water in the desert, and still, the foolish animal running after it.

So this whole material creation is like that. The creator of this universe, Krishna, He says, duhkhalayam ashashvatam: [Bg. 8.15] "This is the place for suffering." And you are seeking after happiness. Just like in the prison house: it is the place for suffering, and if you want to be comfortable, this is called maya. Maya-sukhaya bharam udvahato vimudhan [SB 7.9.43]. The whole world is running after happiness what is not possible. Therefore they have been described as vimudhan, rascal. We sometimes use this word very frequently, "rascals," and they become angry. But actually that is the description, "rascals." All these so-called civilized men, so-called civilized men, they are not men even. They're all animals.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They were cooked in Greece.

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”