Van Toffler Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Put it on my bill

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

Brian Robbins, the newly installed C.E.O. of Paramount Pictures, hasn’t been thrilled by the media coverage of his ascension. Last week, The New York Times noted that the ascension of the former Nickelodeon chief to run the storied studio was perceived as an “affront” to film industry purists. Critical columns in this space and in THR focused on the ham-fisted manner in which ViacomCBS handled the replacement of the statesman-like Jim Gianopulos, and the likelihood that Robbins represents the studio’s significantly reduced theatrical film ambitions. The Ankler newsletter has been referring to Robbins simply as “Norbit,” the lame 2007 comedy that he directed, which derailed Eddie Murphy’s Oscar campaign for Dreamgirls—the kind of movie that Paramount used to release, critics say.

In meetings with his staff and chats with friends, Robbins has openly complained about the coverage, according to three sources that I talked to this week. That’s fine, I’ve never met a studio chief who loves their press. And ViacomCBS has been scrambling behind the scenes to improve the optics. Chris Petrikin, Paramount’s communications chief and a longtime Gianopulos ally, was abruptly ousted without explanation. C.E.O. Bob Bakishmade sure to insist at the Goldman Sachs conference this week that the plan for Paramount includes “maintaining its extraordinary theatrical legacy, as exemplified by the fantastic slate we have coming in 2022.” Meanwhile, the company’s P.R. team has slipped reporters a list of Robbins’ “strong industry relationships”—powerful people who, in the time-honored tradition of Hollywood back-scratching, are happy to say nice things about him in the media. Congrats to those who made the list: UTA’s Jeremy Zimmer(Robbins’ former agent); Jeffrey Katzenberg (who once bought Robbins’ digital startup, Awesomeness, for $33 million and currently shares a luxury box with him at L.A.’s SoFi Stadium); the former Viacom executive Van Toffler; producers Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, Shawn Levy, Neal Moritz and Will Packer,