United Democratic Party Puns

You get them VERY ANGRY

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

Dude 2: “Brochure”

He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

But they didn’t planet.

Me: What did I say about slamming The Doors?

I don’t understand how she can feel that way.

Pissed-aschios.

He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”

Just in case there's a salad dressing

I can’t believe I’ve been saying it wrong my whole life

There were repercussions.

If you ever accidentally smack your kid in the face and they say ow my eyes is blurry, or if they bump their face etc

Say “ah buddy u ok? Can u see? How many hands am I holding up?

Then proceed to hold up one hand with four fingers.

The kid will most often say 4. Then you make the dad face.

“4 hands!?!? Yah we might have a problem!”

Bartender says, “That will be $20.20.”

A sketch pad

It was trivial per suit.

Some Background Info

On March 4, 1841, William Henry Harrison became the 9th President of the United States, with John Tyler as his VP. Exactly one month later, Harrison died, leaving Tyler as the 10th President of the United States. Tyler was elected as a Whig, but chose many Democrats to work in his administration, and often made decisions in the Democratic favor. This made the Whig party angry, and while the Democrats liked some of his actions, they didn't love him. At the end of his presidency, the Whigs were not going to support reelection efforts, and the democrats just liked other people more. This earned him the nickname, "The President Without A Party."

The Dad Joke

At the very end of his presidency, Mrs. First Lady wanted to have celebration. She invited lots of people over, and they all had a good time on Tyler's lawn. Tyler stood on his balcony, looking over all the people have a joyous time when he announced, "Never again can anybody say that I was a president without a party!" and giggled his way into retirement.