Where do new basketball/hockey players get their uniforms from?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 28 2021
A two-star officer was so vain about how good he looked in the updated uniform...
...he ordered all flare guns to be loaded with an action figure in his likeness. That's right:
the Very model of a modern major general.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 16 2021
What gameshow do rugged outdoor vehicles play?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 03 2021
One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..
π︎ 358
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 02 2021
The Beatles once recorded a song about a blue underwater vehicle.
π︎ 150
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Who do you get when you mix a crown, a pair of military vehicles, and a tasty noodle dish?
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 09 2021
I like to make cakes shaped like vehicles.
Most of them have been delicious, but one was a little plane.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 14 2021
My daughter goes to a school that requires a uniform. Occasionally, the administration will reward the children with a free dress day.
For some reason, my daughter never comes home with her free dress...???
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
What kind of noise does a witchβs vehicle make?
π︎ 125
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
The very first self-driving vehicle was invented by the Amish in the 1700's...
..the horse was great, the car was a little buggy.
π︎ 63
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
Which language does God code in?
C
Because God Cs everything
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
I never understood how to speak Morse code.
π︎ 17
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︎ Jun 21 2021
I met my boyfriend while visiting the zoo. There he was, in his uniform...
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
All Swedish military ships have a UPC bard code printed on the side.
When they return to port it helps them Scandinavian.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
My wife Dorothy left me because of my obsession with Morse code
I said please don't dash dot!
π︎ 23
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︎ May 21 2021
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Which vehicle is part of the LGBTQ community?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What kind of noises a witch vehicle make?
π︎ 27
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Interesting fact of the day: In Sweden, all government-owned ships are required to have a UPC code printed on the hull.
When the ships are returned to port, it helps them Scandinavian.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 12 2021
My nudist friend does not like putting on clothes, but will angrily comply with dress code requirements...
π︎ 37
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︎ May 30 2021
What kind of vehicle does a wiener dog drive?
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 13 2021
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
π︎ 489
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Dress code
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
I met my boyfriend at the zoo.
He walked past in a uniform and I thought "There's a keeper."
π︎ 236
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.
It's an equal Adderall triangle.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Sold, to the man in the uniform!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Why does the military insist on wearing a uniform?
π︎ 159
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
My dad keeps talking about his new unmanned aerial vehicle.
He won't stop droning on about it.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
He totally is.
π︎ 21
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︎ Apr 22 2021
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...
π︎ 33
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Do you know why Santa and eight reindeer couldnβt open his vehicle?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is theyβre working on a self driving boat as well.
Theyβre going to call it the iAye
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
I hear there's a new strain of Covid infecting people who recently purchased a vehicle.
They're calling it the car owner virus.
π︎ 72
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︎ Oct 11 2020
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.
This will eliminate 75% of Americaβs car bunny missions.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What make of vehicles is no better than a childβs plaything?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Norway just made the decision to put QR codes on the side of all its war ships.
Now they can Scandinavian!
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Highway is full of Origami vehicles this evening...
Traffic is described as being stationery...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you get when you mix a crown, a pair of military vehicles, and a tasty noodle dish?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 13 2021
Why does the Norwegian Navy put bar codes on the sides of their ships?
So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian!
π︎ 93
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
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