Unicorn Party Puns

How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.

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Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?  Nothing, they’re both fictional characters

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What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union?  It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s.

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What do you call a Russian with Tourette’s Syndrome?  Yukanol Fukov.

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What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?  A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.

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What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User’s Manual?  The bus and train timetables.

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What is Communism?  The Poles say it’s the longest and most painful of the roads to capitalism.

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What do you call a gassy russian? Vladimir Tootin

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What is the fastest country in the world? A: Russia

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What do you call a Lada on a hill?  A bloody miracle.

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What did Wendi Murdoch say to Vladimir Putin?  Put-it-in!

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What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?  Electricity.

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Did you hear about the winner of the Russian beauty contest? Me neither.

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When was the first Russian election held?  The time that God set Eve in front of Adam and said, “Go ahead, choose your wife.”

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Russia really Putin a lot of work for the Winter Olympics

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I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.

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America: Hey Ivan.. Russia: da.. America: what do you call a gassy Russian.. Russia: hoe don’t-.. America: Vladimir Tootin.. Russia: !   America: !!.. Russia: fuck you.

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Me: Netflix and chill more like NYET-flix and chill.. Closetcellist: in a russian accent NO FILMS. ONLY CHILL.

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So you want to tell me… Hilbert was Russian to the loud noise?

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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?” We’re answering: “The English fairy tale start with ‘Once upon a time…’, and ours with ‘It will be soon…

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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why some people say that Hungarians love the Russians and hate the Americans?” We’re answering: “Because Russians helped Hungarians to get rid of one totalitarian rule, but Americans don’t help to get rid of the other.”

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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?” We’re answering: “At Lenin’s time, Ru

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I feel like I don’t have enough for mermaids, unicorns other creatures etc. Here are the ones I already have...

Basic witch

Spell the tea

Demons are a ghouls best friend

Little black magic dress

The ghoul next door

Squad ghouls

Witch and famous

Resting witch face

Be careful what you witch for

Witch me luck

Witchful thinking

Make love not warlock

Be afraid, be fairy afraid

A good shaman/talisman is hard to find

Do you really wand to hurt me

Black cat got your tongue

But of curse

Safe hex

Group hex

Big girls don’t scry

It’s my party and I’ll scry if I want to

Trickbait

Fright club

You used to call me on my shell phone

New shellpone, who dis?

Hey, I'm a mermaid and this is crazy, but here's my conch shell, so call me maybe

Yeah the buoys

Don’t krill my vibe

This is boo sheet

Give em pumkin to talk about

Howl you doin’

Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern

Witch, please

Witch better have my candy

Boo Felicia

Romeo and Ghouliet

Cereal killer

Bun in the coven

Summer coven’

Boo-ty sleep

How do you boo?

Creep calm and carry on

What ghost around, comes around

No rest for the wicca’d

I’ll have what banshee’s having

Zombodie that I used to know

Sugar dead-y

Wicca’d stepmother

Smells like teen spirits

The only hexception

Neck-romancer

Abracadaver

That’s what’s banshee said

Dead Flanders

Matt Demon

Icy dead people

Purranormal activity

Straight outta coffin

Congrats to the bride and broom

Let’s get sheet faced

Let’s talk about hex, baby

Hex on the beach

Netflix and kill

Silk Satan sheets

I’m literally dying

Ghost Malone

Broom hair, don’t care

Happy Hallowine

Look what you made me brew

Deja boo

Practice safe hex

Boo berry muffins

There will be hell toupee

Boo lagoon

Coffin up blood

Salty witch

Over the moonicorn

All bayou self

Bad neck-romance

Boy necks door

Allergic to fairy

You’re so vein

Bats and bobs

All you can eat Buffy

Owl put a spell on you

Faboolous

Zombae

Oh my goth!

Ghoulboss

Bone appetit

Love you to the tomb and back

Dead & breakfast

Séayoncé

I Ouija love