This really gets under my skin...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/letmetakeyourcoat
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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You know what really gets under my skin?

Needles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcouncil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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I hate needles. They always get under my skin.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/domivic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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[Request] I need every skeleton/bone related pun you can think of for an upcoming D&D session...I want to really get under my players skin and give them a good ribbing!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingNaked
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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I don't have any kids. According to my nephew, this disqualifies me from telling dad jokes. But he's always preaching that my diet is too high in carbohydrates, so my eating habits really irritate him and get under his skin.

I guess this makes me his carbuncle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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My dad used to get under my skin with this...

Whenver I ask my dad for anything this would be his response:

Me: "Hey dad, could you pass me a napkin?"

Him: "I sure can!" (Followed by a stare and no movement)

Me: "So can I get that napkin?"

Him: "You most definitely can"

It was the greatest mixture of annoyance and dad humor that used to urk me to no end but looking back at it one that I will definitely use on my kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pkmnkiller41
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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Needles-s to say, a pun that's worth a shot

I hate to say it but I'm not a huge fan of donating blood. I guess its cuz needles really get under my skin. But at least its not all in vein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooliojulio7997
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Among all the words in the English language, β€œsubcutaneous” is my least favourite.

It really gets under my skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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I do not like lotion at all.

It really gets under my skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiffypack
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I'm not easily annoyed.

But X-Rays really get under my skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I keep hearing the word subcutaneous everywhere I go

It's really getting under my skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dilzi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
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A quote from George W Bush

Those stories about my intellectual capacity do get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, β€œIntelligence briefing.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryzikx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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Dinner was uncomfortable after this one

An aging woman goes to see a doctor about her sagging skin. The doctor offers her 2 solutions: a cream she'd have to apply every night, or a more permanent solution.

She wants the more permanent solution, so she asks what that would entail. He says she woukd get a key put into the back of her head that shoukd would turn when she wanted tighter skin. She liked the idea, and had the key put in.

A few weeks later, she returns to the doctor.

"Is it not working," the doctor asks.

"Its working fine," she replies.

"Then what appears to be the problem?"

"I've started to get these bags under my eyes."

"Ma'am, those bags are your breasts getting pulled up."

"Oh," she says, "so this isn't a beard I'm growing?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thyyoungclub
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2013
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I hate ticks

They get under my skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PackAttack17
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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Man I hate mosquitoes!

They really get under my skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0827Jake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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I don’t know about you guys but I hate splinters.

They are always getting under my skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueboy9120
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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I hate tattoos

They really get under my skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProffesorCrimson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I don't know why I'm scared of needles.

It just gets under my skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arimeffie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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I hate slivers

They really get under my skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhJoMoe03
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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