Dad drove five of us under a bridge with a sign saying "12 feet"

"Oh no! We only have 10 feet! Better turn back."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tspark868
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2015
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Someone offered me a free trip to Egypt if I get five people under me to also signup.

I hate pyramid schemes.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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(very slightly vulgar) What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

Beer nuts are just over five dollars, deer nuts are only under a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyBucanneer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I took my piggy bank to the five and dime store...

I took my piggy bank to the five and dime store and they told me they didn't take any thing under a dollar...

A policy like that just makes no cents...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbjames84
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Dad got my med-student sister

In a room together with my sister and parents after not having seem them for a long time. Sister places her fingers a little under my ear (male) and is explaining to my mom what she has been learning in med school, "This the mandibular angle...".

My dad, also a doctor, then places his fingers on the same place on my sister's face and says, "and this is the womandibular angle". Cue hysterical laughter and me and my dad high fiving each other.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wooperdoop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
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Trying to lighten up the mood at the DMV.

I was registering a vehicle to my name that I bought off a guy who had a lean out on it. The credit union who was holding the title took forever and a day to send it my way. Well in California, you need to transfer the vehicle in under five days of the purchase. Unknowingly, I waltz into the joint expecting a boom bam thank you ma'am process. Low and behold the clerk says I owe a hundred and some odd bucks for being late, but I explained her the situation and since it was not my fault she flopped the form to waive this fee.

I saw my opportunity and I pounced...

"So this is the....Tidal Wave?"

I get a blank stare for a solid ten seconds and she slaps down another form saying that I owe 500 dollars in taxes. Good ol' California DMV.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/my_leggg_guy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2014
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