Umpila Language Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

!Xóõ !Xun (Ekoka) //Ani /Xam A-Pucikwar A-Pucikwar Aari Aariya Aasáx Abau Abaza Abenaki (Western) Abidji Abipón Abipón Abkhaz Abui Abun Acaxee Acehnese Achagua Achang Aché Achí Acholi Achuar Achumawi Acoma Acroá Adai Adamorobe Sign Language Adang Adioukrou Adithinngithigh Adjuvilo Adyghe (Abzakh) Adyghe (Shapsugh) Adyghe (Temirgoy) Adynyamathanha Adzera Aekyom Aequian Afrihili Afrikaans Agarabi Agavotaguerra Aghem Aghu Aghu Tharnggala Aghul Agta (Central) Agta (Dupaningan) Aguacatec Aguaruna Ahom Ahtna Aikaná Ainu Aizi Aja Ajagbe Ajawa Ajië Aka Aka-Bea Aka-Biada Aka-Bo Aka-Cari Aka-Cari Aka-Jeru Aka-Kede Aka-Kede Aka-Kol Aka-Kora Akan Akar-Bale Akawaio Akha Akhvakh Akkadian Akkala Sami Aklanon Akwa Ala'ala Alabama Alagwa Alamblak Alanic Alas Alawa Albanian Aleut Aleut (Eastern) Algonquin Alladian Allentiac Alngith Alsatian Alsea Alsea Altai (Southern) Alune Alutiiq Alutor Alyawarra Ama Amahuaca Amanab Amanayé Amara Amarakaeri Ambae (Lolovoli Northeast) Ambai Ambulas Amdo Amdo (Themchen) Amele American Sign Language Amharic Amis Ammonite Amo Ampeeli Amuesha Amuzgo Anamuxra Ancient Cappadocian Ancient Macedonian Andi Andoa Andoke Andoquero Anejom Anêm Angaataha Angami Angas Anggor Angolar Anguthimri Anindilyakwa Anong Antrim dialect, Irish Anufo Anyi Anywa Ao Apache (Chiricahua) Apache (Jicarilla) Apache (Western) Apalachee Apalaí Apatani Apiaká Apinayé Apurinã Arabana Arabela Arabic (Bahrain) Arabic (Bani-Hassan) Arabic (Beirut) Arabic (Borno Nigerian) Arabic (Chadian) Arabic (Eastern Libyan) Arabic (Egyptian) Arabic (Gulf) Arabic (Hijazi) Arabic (Iraqi) Arabic (Kormakiti) Arabic (Kuwaiti) Arabic (Lebanese) Arabic (Modern Standard) Arabic (Moroccan) Arabic (Negev) Arabic (North Levantine Spoken) Arabic (Palestinian) Arabic (San'ani) Arabic (Syrian) Arabic (Tunisian) Arakanese (Marma) Araki Aralle-Tabulahan Arandai Araona Arapaho Arapesh (Abu) Arapesh (Mountain) Aravirá Arawak Arbore Arcaicam Esperantom Archi Are'are Areba Aribwatsa Aribwatsa Aribwatsa Arikara Arikem Arin Armenian (Eastern) Armenian (Iranian) Armenian (Western) Arop-Lokep Arosi Arrernte Arrernte (Mparntwe) Arrernte (Western) Arritinngithigh Aruá Asmat Assamese Assan Asturian Asuriní Atacameño Atakapa Atakapa Atampaya Atayal Atchin Athpare Atikamekw Atlantean Atsugewi Atsugewi Attempto Controlled English Au Aulua Auregnais Auslan Auyana Avar Avatime Avestan Avikam Avokaya Awa Awa Pit Awabakal Awadhi Awngi Awtuw Awyi Ayabadhu Ayiwo Aymara (Central) Aynu Ayomán Ayoreo Azari (Iranian) Azerbaijan

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

But let me give it a shot.

And now I’m cannelloni

He’s the new temp.

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Christopher Walken

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Nothing, he was gladiator.