I’m ready to share my Grandma’s special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,
dont know if its already been posted but pls this is gold
What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland
I'm not sure what the big deal is with the national bird of the U.S
I've never seen its balls, but people keep saying it's a Balled Eagle
I think this may have been posted already, but this is gold
Argon enters a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
I was thinking of getting a job at the U.S. Mint
Can you imagine the amount of money I would make?
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
Do you prefer gold or silver?
Because for me it's either ore.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub, and it’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
It’s a crime to tell a joke to Optimus Prime.
You might be arrested for vehicular man’s laughter.
What’s the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing us a song and chickpeas can only hummus one.
What do you call a magician that’s lost his magic?
Wife was at the doctor’s office yesterday and texted me that she’s tired of waiting.
I told her to…be patient.
I’m a new dad of a five-month old baby and I was quite proud of this moment.
“Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.”
Terrible joke, only three stars.
There’s a sailor who is always finding fool’s gold
We call him the iron pirate.
In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d just like to say,
“thank you for your cervix.”
If your rifle’s not working properly…
Find the owners manual and refer to the troubleshooting section.
I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget...
I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget and dug through my feces to find it. My wife walked in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was just mining my own business.
What’s blue and not heavy?
What does a chemist say when he spills boiling gold all over himself?
Batman: It’s been a long day Alfred. Please fill up the bathtub.
rom one dad to another, Happy Father’s Day.
May your day be filled with laughter and children groaning at your terrible puns.
My song recently went gold
What is the world’s least spoken language?
I pulled a muscle digging for gold....
no worries though, it's just a miner injury.
I’ve recently started a dating app for chickens. It’s not my normal day job, ...
it’s just to make hens meet.
2000’s kids are generation Z and 80’s-90’s kids are generation Y, if we keep going back we get to generation U.
If you have wine from that time is it genuine?
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
Joke from my 9 year old. What do you call a cow that’s really good at math?
What do you call it when a small person waves at u?
Pandora’s box wasn’t actually a box.
In fact, all the trouble started because it was ajar.
What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
My wife called me at work and said “it’s time, the baby is coming”
I said that’s impossible, Labor Day is in September!
(New dad of a 3 week old, trying to step into my new role)
What is one thing every woman wants that starts with P and ends with S?
Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here.
reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
If you want to get into the gold market you need a thick skin.
There’s lots of bullion involved.
My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold …
It’s been 60 years since my dad said he was leaving to go get some milk...
At this point my guess is they are both expired.
I have a pun for you guys, it’s a one liner
What’s the difference between a sharply dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
I pulled a muscle digging for gold.
It was just a miner injury.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
