No, there is simply no way the two of you can make an amazing meal of out vegetables only!!!

Lettuce prove you wrong.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronGaben
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2022
🚨︎ report
Two elderly gents met up on the way to the funeral of one of their longtime buddies.

The deceased was thought to have accumulated much wealth. On the way to the cemetery, one old fellow asked the other, "How much did he leave?"

The other old fellow replied, "All of it."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2022
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My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend, who's a mapmaker, said he had a way to represent an oblate spheroid in two dimensions.

I said "Dude, you're just projecting."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2021
🚨︎ report
In 1938, two teams racing to be the first to climb the Eiger North Face joint forces along the way and reached the summit together.

You could call it The Tie of the Eiger.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silkthewanderer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2021
🚨︎ report
You know that theory about no two people see colours exactly the same way...

Surely it's a pigment of their imagination ?

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Two thistles are arguing over who has the better yard The one turns to the other and says "your dirt is way too loose, man, look" and yanks him up and out of the ground Second thistle looks up at the first and goes

"I artichoke you for that"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?

Saturn Uranus.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ochoytnik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the way two French dudes share files electronically?

Pierre to Pierre network.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
There is a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way ipfs.pics/QmZbKhZGWtorqCM…
πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousosweg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
🚨︎ report
I was walking with two friend on my way to a new years party

One of them brought up that the government has outlawed really loud fireworks My other friend said: "Really? I havent heard of those" To which I replied: "That's the point"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A teacher told a student that no two people see color in the exact same way.

The student then asked...Does this mean that color is a pigment of your imagination?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
For two days in a row, I slipped on the frozen newspaper in front of my doorstep on my way out to work.

I seem to have fallen on hard Times.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw two Cadillacs on my way to work today...

Thank God the situation didn't Escalade any further!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBlueBuffBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Two Dad Jokes on the way home from dinner

Mom to Grandparents: Have you guys had a lot of problems with shingles? Dad: I sure do, I have them on the roof & Mom: Look at all those rabbits, we could have them for supper Dad: Yea, but what would they bring?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spinnert9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
🚨︎ report

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