@KFC has over 1 million followers, but only follows 11 people
5 Spice girls, and 6 guys named Herb
11 Herbs & Spices
(Seriously, check it out https://twitter.com/kfc)
https://twitter.com/Mens_Corner_/status/1122878152726937602
My friend: "Just remembered some girl in my class today shared a current event on cowspiracy"
Me:"I bet it was pretty... cheesy"
On bus yesterday. Spent whole journey singing songs by The Monkees. Thought that woman opposite was being entertained.
Then I saw her face.
https://twitter.com/HeymanHustle/status/477471573062844417
"Hey, how do you feel?"
"...With my hands"
Did you realize that Robinson Crusoe was the story of the first Black Friday?
I was going to "for shame! for shame!" him ... but I chuckled first and then I couldn't.
@RonDawg64
https://twitter.com/RonDawg64
“I like to tell dad jokes.” “Does he laugh?” “What?” “Go home.”
[Stolen from a meme posted to Twitter by @ scientistmel.]
"Tree-va la Résistance!"
It was one of my prouder parenting moments.
Pundle is daily fun with a pun on your phone/tablet/computer. I’ve written hundreds of puns and dad jokes for the game, and you’ll be able to solve one puzzle per day. We’re getting rave reviews on Twitter, and about 1,500 players a day since its launch just last week! Also it’s completely totally free. Check it out!
They ask "Was it arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".
Edit: holy shrimp! I got silver! Thanks for the reception!
Son: "Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"
Mom: *staring at dad
Dad: ...*clenches fists
Mom: ...don't!
Dad: *sweats profusely
Mom:
Dad: HI GAY, IM DAD
Kudos to @Lerky on Twitter
Kid: Hey Dad, I have kidneys. You're a dad, so you have dadneys.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/ps7j04/prodigy/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
First of all, yes my family have rap battles over facebook, we are that white. It's been a fun rap battle of sorts, and my dad just threw down then well... Here is the conversation:
Father: Parental rap battle, game over with this one...
Father: You say we are weak
that our rhymes are the worst
Just remember my lad that we were here first
Rap didn't begin right now with your gang
It started with ours and came out with a bang
That we can't rap - on Twitter you say
o what a betrayal, Et tu, Brute
Oh no, oh snap, did that happen here
Dad threw down some latin from Will Shakespeare
I'm done with this battle and now I'll decree
Just remember my apple you fell from this tree
Me: I honestly have no words.
Father: Shit.... [TheLegitMidgit] is speechless. How could that be?
Me: Color me impressed.
Father: Is that green?
Me: Stop while you're ahead.
@mustfear
edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.
Me: “I’m not very hungry. I just want something easy.”
Server: “...Maybe the chicken strips for $6?”
Me: “Maybe it does, but that doesn’t help me with my hunger.”
Random Dad across the restaurant: “GOOD ONE!”
Credit to @TravisTeeh on Twitter
You guys like puns and dad jokes? Well boy oh boy, my boy, do I have the comic for you! http://penguinproductions.org/comics?id=1
The comic is still new, so please tell me what you think! I'd love to get some feedback.
Follow Penguin Productions on facebook and twitter for more comics!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/penguinproductionsapps/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/PenguinProdApps
I spent a good portion of my youth rolling my eyes at my father's jokes. But deep down, I loved 'em. I have a great Dad. But I'm not really the best at saying "I love you". I was reading /r/dadjokes recently and I had an idea. I should turn my Dad's favorite joke into a t-shirt. Then, on Father's Day, I could video chat with him while I wear the shirt.
I think he would love the shit out of that, you know? Like, maybe he will think "Wow, my son gets it. He actually likes my humor!"
Then I thought, I could turn a bunch of these jokes into shirts. So I did. You can see them here:
http://www.funnyshirts.org/s/dadjokes
And then I thought, man, if I could get more people to do nothing else on Father's Day but to embrace their Dad's sense of humor... that would be pretty cool. It would make a lot of Dads happy.
So I wrote the Dad Joke Manifesto:
http://dadjokemanifesto.tumblr.com/themanifesto
You don't have to use t-shirts. Just make a good joke. Employ puns. Think about your Dad's style, his favorite joke, and embrace it.
If you can dig it, then join the movement. Send me your favorite Dad Jokes. Join us on:
If nothing else, follow along for some good dad jokes.
The dreams in which I'm dying HELLO DYING I AM DAD
~Dad World
https://twitter.com/sleepwalkingdog/status/559638266220408832
Not mine but I had to share
