A list of puns related to "Tv Shows With"
I was watching TV with my hispanic girlfriend and on the show we were watching a guy gave a girl a danish (little pastry with fruit). My girlfriend said that while it looked pretty tasty and good, she's not much of a Danish person and I said, "Well, probably because you're hispanic.."
I immediately texted my dad the joke as well.
A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.
Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.
I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."
Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo
Hey all! I'm writing a play for my third grade class all about healthy habits and it's full of TV parodies. One show is Game of Thrones. For example, one character is Jon Snowpea. Can you guys help me come up with some food or exercise puns for the full title of Danaerys: Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons”. Thanks!!
My youngest was watching Netflix, deciding on a few episodes of Captain Underpants. In one particular episode, the titled character is forced to share a room with a clown. My wife, watching this show, laughs about him having Coulrophobia (Fear of clowns), and repeatedly panicking in subsequent scenes. Finally near the episode, she asks ,"What did that clown ever do to him?"
My response: "Nothing. He's It's Cousin. Pound Foolish"
Wife stares at me. Blinks twice. Goes back to watching the TV that has more comedy than her idiot husband
Friday after work, just sitting down to dinner with my dad, the news is showing on the TV. A story comes on about body parts that were found in a river recently. The police are appealing to anyone who recognises a tattoo thats on the forearm close to the hand, to come forward and help the police with their investigation.
My dad turns to me with a huge grin on his face and says, "Well, I guess that's a pretty handy clue to have".
Nice work dad.
What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.
If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.
Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.
I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.
Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.
I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *
Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.
I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.
Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.
Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?
Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.
Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.
Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?
Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.
Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.
Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"
I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.
So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.
When you get an infection, urine trouble.
"Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."
How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."
Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.
Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *
What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *
*My absolut
... keep reading on reddit ➡Funniest horse puns and jokes
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: “What, George?”
A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?”
A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”
A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.”
Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours
A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”
Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
“I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits..
A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.
What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo
... keep reading on reddit ➡Not a dad yet, but:
I've been working on fixing my god-awful penmanship lately, so I'll spend quite a long time writing the alphabet, transcribing tv show lines, or just page after page of single letters.
The other night, I had about half a page of capital B's done. My wife looks at it and asks what I'm doing. I reply, "Oh, just writing a letter."
She pretended she didn't hear it and just carried on with what she was doing. :(
So I'm watching TV with my daughters. A Saint Jude commercial comes on and shows a bunch of sick kids dying of cancer... both of my daughters let out a compassionate "Awe.."
Me: Hey girls, do you realize how many more kids in America were diagnosed with cancer during the time it took to watch that commercial?
Daughters: Oh my God... I don't even what to think about it! How many?
Me: Tumor.
He's on his way to shoot the first episode of a new TV show, but security gave him trouble when they asked why he was going to NY. He said "I'm going to shoot a pilot".
Watching a show with my dad as my mom walks into the room. Dad and I are clearly engrossed in the program.
Mom: what are you watching?
Me: TV.
Dad: smiles and nods to me approvingly
I walk in the living room and the TV shows hail pounding down and covering a yard like snow.
My dad says, "This is in Texas, how could they get so much hail down there?"
"Hail, I don't know," with a southern twang.
I sat down to watch TV with my parents and they decided to play Master Chef. I'm familiar with the show, but haven't seen any of this season. I'm sitting there, complimenting the fantastic weight loss of Graham, one of the judges, when my dad goes:
"Yeah, you know, last year he was going by the name kiloGraham, but now he just goes by Graham!"
I laughed, my mom groaned, and the cleverness of the joke, (which is far from usual), was enjoyed by all. :)
Let me set the seen.
We are watching tv a channel in the UK called True Entertainment.
From the TV "Up next on True Entertainment, 'Amnesia part 2'"
I turn to my wife and ask "what was part one about I forgot"
My wife shrugged and said "I don't...." followed by a groan
She then asks if she can change the channel or do I want to watch Amnesia.
I respond with "change it I will just forget what the show is about"
In the TV show Jimmy Neutron, Jimmy's dad, Hugh, pulls him over to speak with him
Hugh: Now, remember, son - there's no "I" in "team," you know what I mean?
Jimmy: You mean we should sublimate our differences for the good of our combined effort?
Hugh: What? No, no, I mean there's no letter "i" in the word "team." There's never a wrong time for a spelling lesson, son!
Just saw this on facebook...
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’
It's a show about a couple with dwarfism.
Me: Is this supposed to be a long running TV show or just a mini-series?
Wife: ...
We were watching a reality show called Oak Island when my dad said, "This would take a turn if they'd misheard and its actually Poison Oak Island. (Cue dad laugh)
But it got me thinking about a game I saw on Hollywood Game Night where they merge someone's last name and someone's first name. Like Bruce Wayne Gretzky. I find that hilarious.
This is my game creation: merge a well known phrase with a TV show, movie or other media that completely changes the premise of the media in a funny way.
First contribution: Tie Die Hard
Told to me by my friend a few years ago...
My friend's family was watching a TV show where one of the characters gets a nose job, then breaks up with her boyfriend to date a more attractive man.
Friend's Dad: "Looks like she has better pickings now that she has her nose done nicely. Haha - better pickings!"
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