Turn Up The Radio Puns

I said boy I can’t turn this down.

I’ve been looking to get some masonry work done on a garden boundary outside my house, but the last builder I used ripped me off. He turned up with Pink Floyd blasting on his radio, laid one stone and then left, and he hasn’t been seen since.

I’m a bit disappointed by it, but all in all it’s just another brick in the wall...

The sun was especially hot and they became thirsty. The first string said to his friends, "I know of a good bar down the street. Let's go get a drink." The three agreed and walked together to the bar.

The bar was dark and empty, with classic country playing over a scratchy AM radio. The bartender was a worn old man with a salt and pepper hair and a bushy moustache. They sat down at the bar together, relieved to be inside from the heat.

The bartender looked up with a sullen frown, as the first string ordered three beers. He stared at them for a long second and said, "We don't serve yer kind 'ere."

The strings sat for a moment, surprised at the bartender's prejudice, but stood up and left without a word. As they walked out into the desert heat again, the second string spoke up. "Man, I'm dying out here. We gotta get a drink somewhere."

"I know of another place," the first string said, and led them to a pub down the block. The three strings were badly dehydrated and getting tired, but soon enough they made it to the pub.

Inside there were a few bikers at a table, who turned in their chairs to stare at the strings shuffling by. The bartender cast a wary glance at them as they approached and took their seats at the bar.

Before the strings could a word, the pub owner walked out from a room in the back and yelled, "We don't serve strings in this establishment!" The third string stood up, infuriated, but the second string held him back and they walked out again without a word.

Back on the dusty street outside, the three strings were growing faint. The stores were closed, and they were getting desperate. "C'mon, there's gotta be some place to get a drink!" the third string moaned.

"I know one more place," the first string said. So they walked a good mile down the road to a dive bar on the edge of town. Instead of walking in, the first string stopped his pals.

"Wait a minute, guys," the first string said. He bent over and tied himself, then tousled his hair and straightened up. The other two thought he'd lost his mind in the heat, but walked in behind him.

As the door swung shut behind them, they looked around. The only waitress was serving a couple of rednecks at a corner booth, and all three turned to stare at the strings.

"Say," the scrawny redneck started, "Ain't y'all some of them strings?"

"Naw," the first one said, "I'm a frayed knot."

So, a little story Alright, so I'd say I was in about 6th or 7th grade. One day my Grandpa (Pop) and I are driving down the road, for some irrelevant time story amount of time. We end up down some country road that passes a bunch of cattle fields, and as we're driving he turns down the radio and he asks "Do you think those cows are very smart?" And I ask why. He responds with "You know, cause they're out standing in the field." That man, let me tell you.

Alright, fast forward to about 3~4 years. My friend and I were driving to another friends house, and we ended up on the same road, with the same cows in the field. Guess what I asked him. And I swear on my Grandfather's grave, my friend stopped his car, and asked me to get out.