Hey Reddit, Wanna hear a joke about time travel?

Never mind. Y’all didn’t like it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knowbody-_-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If you want to hear a joke about time-travel,

Meet here last Tuesday at 7pm

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/propellerhead-web
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to post a time travel joke but.....

Nobody thought it was funny.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fixedsit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to post a time-travel joke...

But you guys didn't like it

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I did have a great joke about time travel...

But as it turns out, you all didn't like it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil-Sleepy-A1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was gunna tell everyone this great time-travel joke...

but no-one here liked it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zythr009
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister in law told me a time traveling joke I was gonna share with ya all..

But you guys hated it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteElway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
So I travelled back in time, and was told THE BEST joke by ancient egyptians

I laughed historically!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucab_lesp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
To get to the time machine.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnchartedQuasar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Final 4 Dad joke. Grandpa: It looked like he traveled.

Dad: They all traveled. It's in Texas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hubbs006
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I just found out she's pregnant with our first child.

To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.

"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."

"Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."

"Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."

"Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."

"Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m_bowker-brown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to diss a brie?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Impromptu dad joke while traveling

Sister: "why are the roads a different color here than they are back home?"

Dad: "what do I look like? A roads scholar?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disassterbate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Cardboard cut out puns

Fathers day dinner tonight for my dad and my sister and family can't be there because of travel restrictions. I've organised life size cardboard cut outs of them and had my sister record a few dad jokes/puns. But I need help coming up with more ... the best, worst and cringiest are all welcome!

So far I have..
"I'm feeling a little flat"

"I'm board ... cardboard"

"You'd think my ears are painted on, You'll have to speak up"

"Can you believe someone told me I had the personality of cardboard"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeishaJane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Give β€˜em the punchline first!

How do you tell a good joke about time travel?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bebelmatman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
As soon as space travel is possible, I’m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy

I’m galactose intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillowyWave5228
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The punchline comes before the joke.

What's the worst thing about time travel jokes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
...But it died a death and got zero upvotes !!

Came here before to post a time travel joke...

Edit : Apologies in advance if you're reading this as a repost from tomorrow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I would tell a time travel joke,

but you didn't like it.

πŸ‘︎ 351
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about time travel

but you didn't like it...

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewantedgr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to post a time travel joke here.

But you didn’t like it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyBVT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a joke about time travel,

But you didn't get it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryptozoophagist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a joke about time travel

But you guys didn't get it

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahh-potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a time travel joke

But you didn't like it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corrupted_tissue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell you a joke about time travel.

But you didn't think it was very funny.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I could tell you a time travel joke...

... But you didn't like it

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trtzbass
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to wire a time travel joke but...

You guys said it was a repost.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoshiofthewire
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time traveling joke...

But you didn’t like it.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time traveling joke...

But you guys didn’t like it

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke......

....but you guys didn't like it.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJBlue18
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke.

But you guys didn't like it!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkumbagKira
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell you a time traveling joke

But you didn't like it

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke.

But you guys didn’t like it.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time travelling joke

But you guys didn't like it.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessCuteButt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was about to tell a time traveling joke

but you guys didn’t like it

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theereelest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke.

but you guys didn't like it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell you guys a time traveling joke,

but you didn't like it.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell a time travelling joke

But you guys didnt like it

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CChiief
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell you guys a time traveling joke...

But you guys didn’t like it.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realswagmb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell you a time traveling joke

But you guys didn’t get it so never mind

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Temporary_Nobody
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to post a time-traveling joke but you guys didn’t like it.
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SJaeckle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell a time traveling joke.

But nobody liked it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."

A time traveller walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 835
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
You have now!

Did you hear the joke about time travel?

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The bartender says, β€œwe don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AinSpaceXXX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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