What do you call a musical group of criminals that travels around the country but only along the outline of the country's border?

Contour

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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So I travel around my country at the weekend taking photo graphs last week I was in London it was amazing I could almost say it was a...
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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When an ant travels from one country to another country, it’s important.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pranavgayatri
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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My Australian friend and I were playing chess while talking about which European country we should travel to

He said "Czech mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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I travel around the country giving seminars on the beneficial features of dried grapes.

I’m in the business of raisin awareness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Did you guys hear about the microbiologist who traveled to 30 countries and speaks 6 languages?

He was a wise man of many cultures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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(I seriously don't get this) A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down

He hiked several miles to a farmhouse, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight.

β€œSure,” said the farmer, β€œmy wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but they’re off to college, and I’m all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up.”

Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.

The farmer called after him,β€œDidn’t you hear what I said? I have lots of room.”

β€œI heard you,” said the salesman, β€œbut I think I’m in the wrong joke.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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How do hip-hop artists stay safe when traveling from country to country?

Bubble rap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oranm91
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I'm traveling and just dadjoked the wife from across the country.

After some chit chat, I dropped a doozy on my wife this morning.

"Hey dear, why was 6 afraid of 7i?"

"What? I don't know."

"Because he has an irrational fear!"

"I'm not awake enough for this shit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foobz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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Santa joins the Army

Santa decides it's time to put his 364 days worth of downtime to use, so he travels to Warsaw to join the Army.

The recruiter says "Sir, only natives of this country can join the military".

Santa replies, "I understand, and I meet the requirements".

"How so?" queries the Recruiter.

Santa smiles and says, "Isn't it obvious I am North Pole-ish?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rebella-Scumm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Pun challenge

My mom told me this pointless story that I was sure was going to be a pun. What should this have been leading up to?

> I read about these two men who practiced log rolling tricks and traveled all over the country. One would jump right over the other one. They even had a dog trained to do tricks with them.

No points for "the aristocrats!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noumenon72
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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Cousin's 3 year old daughter is going to be a great dad one day.

My cousin and his wife have a 3 year old daughter, and they're traveling to visit us cross-country for Thanksgiving. In the hotel last night, cousin (Steven) was discussing breakfast with his daughter (Emily).

Steven: "Tomorrow morning, before we leave, the hotel is going to cook us breakfast!"

Emily: "Daddy, how is the hotel going to cook us breakfast? It doesn't even have hands!"

Steven said he's never been prouder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justinerwin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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World map

My parents have been traveling the world and my Mom bought my Dad a big world map (in a frame) for his birthday. It comes with tacks that you stick into the countries you have visited. Once they put the tacks in I dropped this.

Me: Isn't it funny how every country you have visited is now "under attack"?

My Mom glared at me and it took my Dad a couple seconds. He giggled and gave me that "I'm laughing but you know that was terrible" look.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcmastermind
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
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My great uncle just dadjoked me with this email.

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you

can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be

driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends,

family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much

on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit

there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to

stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin

flowing and pumps up the old heart!

At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's

an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART! LOVE EACH OTHER! YEP!

My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama and petty

things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one unstable person to another. I hope everyone is happy in your head -

we're all doing pretty well in mine!

Just kidding. All my travel plans are to doctors and the bathroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dantheman757
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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Studying abroad

I was talking to my dad about the possibility of traveling to another country and studying abroad. When I asked him if he's ever studied abroad he replied, "I've studied many broads."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarryEyedLepus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2013
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