I heard Jeremy Clarkson isn't coming back to Top Gear

But James May.

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📅︎ Mar 25 2015
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Matt LeBlanc won't be very good as the new Top Gear host...

because he will always be stuck in second gear!

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📅︎ Feb 11 2016
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Top Gear has a dad... (X-Post from /r/funny)

http://i.imgur.com/YKwEJif.jpg

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👤︎ u/PressF1
📅︎ Dec 09 2013
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I walked in on my dad and boyfriend watching Top Gear

Me: Ooh, what are you watching?

Dad: It's a Saab story.

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👤︎ u/Pitta_
📅︎ Dec 22 2013
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Pretty solid evidence.
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📅︎ Dec 22 2018
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I don't think Jeremy Clarkson or Richard Hammond know what they're doing...

But James May

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👤︎ u/Propane13
📅︎ Jan 02 2017
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A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.

Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!

Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)

There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)

Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.

When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.

Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)

If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.

There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.

There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.

Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)

Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.

In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Doc: There's something not q

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Jun 09 2017
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GF got me with this last night while watching our favorite BBC car show

Me: "The cinematography for this show really is top notch." Her: "No babe, it's Top Gear."

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👤︎ u/StringFu
📅︎ Mar 17 2014
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