I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
People who don't know the difference between the words burro and burrow
don't know their ass from a hole in the ground
What kind of bird doesn’t know the words to their own song?
I asked my wife to describe me in a few words
She said:
I'm mature
I'm moral
I'm polite
And, by and large, I'm perfect
Don't know why she then accused me of having "a fundamental incapability to understand the proper use of apostrophes and spacing" though....
Why did the dad hoard the seafood dinner?
I confused the word Jacuzzi with Yakuza last week...
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia...
I saw a former teacher of mine and said, “Thank you so much for teaching me the word plethora…”
Does anyone know any good sword fighting puns ? I'm trying to think of any words that have..
Dad, I want to thank you for teaching me the proper use of the word 'plethora'
If you spell the words “Absolutely Nothing” backwards, you get “Gnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...
I got the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' confused...
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
What is the longest sentece you can get by using two words?
A man attends a funeral for his best friend. He approaches the grieving widow, gestures to the podium and asks; "May I say a word?" The widow responds "Of course.."
The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.
"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."
EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌
I’ve come up with a new word for when you remove your bra at the end of the day: Gravititty
When I hang out with my Spanish friends, I always use the word mucho.
I asked my kids if they could come up with a word that had 3 letters of the alphabet in a row?
Request for a pun with the word Brook
Please let me know if this kind of post isn't allowed but I wasn't sure where to ask. I'm looking for puns including the word Brook. Even better if it's plural (brooks).
A student was writing a paper for school and kept mixing up the words "burro" and "burrow"
The teacher told him "you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground"
There’s one word in the English language you will never find in a dictionary. Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself. It’s...
Where did the word "Vertigo" come from?
The first person diagnosed with vertigo was a German man. When he lost his balance he exclaimed:
"Vere'd it go?"
For awhile, my young son couldn't tell me the letters in the word, arid.
Have y'all ever heard about the Spanish dog who could bark the word yes?
Why is ‘smile’ the longest word in the world?
Because it has a mile in it.
Sometimes I use big words I don't understand
Just to make me sound more photosynthesis
What word has the most letters in it?
The post office.
(Courtesy of my 8 year olds).
I'll never forget my dad’s last words to me just before he died.
Are you still holding the ladder, son?
79% of people don't know opposite words for the following.
- Always
- Coming
- From
- Take
- Me
- Down
Why should you never ask a horse for words of encouragement?
They’re all neigh-sayers.
What does the word “stool” mean?
- Something you want to sit on
- Something you don’t want to sit on
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.
I was doing the crossword and I asked my mom if there was another word for postman...
She said "Dad"
I told her I didn't get it
She replied "I sure did"
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"
I just invented a new word:
Wanna know a word I just made up?
Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
A couple was in the forest painting words on fallen trees.
They were following their counsellor’s orders to have meaningful dye-a-log.
What's another word for a Russian Astronaut?
Well that didn't cross my mind
What was the executioner’s favorite word game
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
"Son, I heard you got punished for using the 'F ' word in class. That wasn't fun was it ?"
Special thanks to my buddy for teaching me the word plethora.
My wife regularly confuses the words Burro, and Burrow.
She doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.
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