I forgot to pay my water bill again so the city sent me a card.
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up, man. It could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
What weighs more? A gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
Water. Butane is a lighter fluid
What do you call a dog that lives in the water.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it
I just spilled some water on the rug.
Why didn't the female ant survive hitting the water?
What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?
I took my dog to the water park once
It was against the rules, but they let it slide
You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it doesn't, buoyant.
My brother got extremely pissed off when he put the top on a pot of water upside down. Then he turned it over.
People often ask me why I am willing to build barriers preventing the flow of water for anyone who asks...
I tell them it's because I give a dam.
Why did the runner need to drink water urgently?
The Water Buffalo dad was surprised to hear that his boy was attracted to both male and female water buffaloes.
He should have know he had a Bison.
I just spent three hours chasing all the water fowl out of my yard...
What did the egg say to the boiling water
It's going to take a while to get me hard. I just got laid by some chick earlier
I’m ready to share my Grandma’s special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,
Why finding a source of clean water is the most important to-do when trying to survive?
Because thirst things first.
Why do dogs float on water so well?
Because they are good buoys.
Where does the mansplainer get his water?
From the well, actually...
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?
Did you know they found water on the moon?
But only when it’s waning
My son made a block with six equal sides out of frozen water.
I said "Now that's a nice cube!"
My pissed off neighbour told me he wanted to throw me in a deep hole full of water.
But I know he means well.
What does a dwarf do in water?
What does a beaver say when they see water?
They finally released the film on the use of clocks in concrete water barriers.
RIP boiled water,
you'll be mist.
(I couldn't find this joke on here so here it is)
Couldn't resist painting this on my new watering can
To all the warm water that suddenly encountered cool air…
What do you call a dog barking under water?
Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...
....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.
Teacher: What’s the formula of water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
Teacher: That’s not the formula of water.
Student: You said the formula was H to O.
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
What thought popped into my Head when I mixed Water and Electricity?
If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"
.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"
My friend was too sick to pay his water bill.
I told him to get well soon.
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up man, it could be worse. You could stuck underground in a hole full of water
Took my dog to the water park once
It was against the rules, but they let it slide.
What's heavier? Water or butane?
Water. Butane is a lighter fluid
What is heavier? Water or Butane?
Water... Butane is a lighter fluid.
How do you make Holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Ok, Imma head out...
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water.
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