The Tears Puns

A list of puns related to "The Tears"

If the winner of a competition cries happy tears, what does the runner up cry?

Second tears.

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👤︎ u/logansworth
📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Dec 16 2020
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When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.

But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
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My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Mar 13 2018
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My town finally decided to tear down the dilapidated replica of a pirate ship...

It was an aye-sore.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jan 12 2020
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My brother visited the cemetery today to see our mom. He walked up to her grave stone, closed his eyes and with a tear running down his cheek, said

Look who’s grounded now, mom.

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👤︎ u/Sioswing
📅︎ Jul 29 2019
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 05 2019
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The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.

This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.

Photos here:

https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3

Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!

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👤︎ u/sloanautomatic
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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What did the man put in his eye to stop tears coming out?

Duct tape

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👤︎ u/sNatchyy
📅︎ Nov 29 2018
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My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..." reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
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👤︎ u/alextound
📅︎ Mar 13 2018
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Why did Satan tear the shoe in half?

Cause he just wanted the sole.

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👤︎ u/Magikarpus_Maximus
📅︎ Jan 30 2018
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I wonder when they’ll tear down the abandoned waterslide park

It remains tubey scene

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👤︎ u/germdisco
📅︎ Oct 14 2018
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I’m going to rename my tears “Pixar shorts” because it’s the only time I cry.
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👤︎ u/beardwithablog
📅︎ Jun 15 2018
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Darth Vader's son really knows how to tear up the road

You might have heard of him. His name's Exca Vader.

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👤︎ u/xwhy
📅︎ Apr 22 2016
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Tears the tab off a soda can - "Want to hear my best duck call?"

Speaks into soda tab: "Calling all ducks"

My dad did this and it took me years to understand...

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👤︎ u/Ursidaelius
📅︎ Oct 07 2015
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Was told you would like this: As kids on the way to McDonald's, my father used to torment us to the point of tears by telling us we were going to the fictional Wong's House of Liver instead...

This is what I got him for Christmas this year:

http://i.imgur.com/3luzi1J.jpg

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👤︎ u/TheHoneyBear
📅︎ Jan 04 2014
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