Did you hear about the man who memorized all the symbols on a map?

He was a legend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanitysaint
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Yesterday I met someone who didn't know what Γ— (the multiplication symbol) meant...

It really is a sign of the times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomPeepsle12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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I miss when the β€˜#’ symbol meant β€˜pound’...

I want you to #metoo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffActual
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What chemical element is symbolized by the letters Ah?

The element of surprise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pandagami
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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All letters of the alphabet except for c have been declared hate symbols by the anti defamation league. Why?

They are "not c".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultraguardrail
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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A French guy started a charitable foundation that symbolizes the coexistence between faiths; combining "Red Cross" and "Red Crescent". What did he call it?

Red Croissant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why’s β€œU” used as the symbol for Potential Energy?

Because β€œU” have a lot of potential!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenverCav0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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To who ever wrote the explanation of the symbols on the map.

You are a legend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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The chemical symbol for Iron is Fe...

... and therefore Iron Man is a Fe Male
Happy International women's day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBassMeister
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
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Me: Yo bro, can you tell me the chemical symbols for sodium, bromine and oxygen?

Friend: NaBrO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjaminear3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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No one tell me what the symbol β€œΞΌβ€ stands for

Which I think is quite mean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormfox9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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My quantum physics professor was really particular about how we wrote the symbols for our wave functions.

She was a total Psi's queen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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I asked my dad if he knew what the symbol for Sodium was on the periodic table.

He said Na.

Can someone please tell me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbrisco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Has anyone else noticed that the symbol "&"...

...looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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A period and a decimal use the same symbol

Let me know if I should stop this joke or break it down further

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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A principal in Nebraska banned candy canes because the "J" symbolizes "Jesus".

He mint well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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So you know the programming language C...

next is C++, or C2 since its the second one, then there's C# or C3 since the # symbol is just shift 3.

I can't wait for the next iteration, C4! I hear its gonna be... A blast!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eclipse_Shadow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I mistakenly answer Ai instead of Al as the symbol for aluminum.

foiled again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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Phone keyboards don't have the cent symbol.

Is it because no one has any cents anymore?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PokemonTaz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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One friend of mine is LITERALLY a legend...

He always helps me with maps and diagrams, pointing out all the little symbols and what they mean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bebelmatman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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i was in a band once

the producer said that we needed to have a symbol for our band. i said sir if we dont have a cymbal how have we been playing the drums?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brohemianrasputin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Periodic Table Pun

Why is the element Sb poor? Because it is antimony.

The pun is basically about an element in the periodic table which is called antimony and whose symbol is Sb this is basically playing with words that Sb is anti-money and that's why it is poor.

Variations can be Sb is anti-capitalist. But anyways.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ganesh003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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I used to be in a Chemistry band

I played the symbols.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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So my GF and I were talking about the periodic table today:

Me: Do you know the symbol for Potassium?

GF: Let me think about it....

Me: K.

GF: No seriously don't tell me.

Me: K.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Santiago__Dunbar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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A woman texted her husband, asking him to rate how attractive she is from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest score...

After reading her husband's short and quick reply, the woman happily called her husband and said, "Aww, you didn't have to send me the heart symbol as a reply to my question. How sweet of you!"

Her husband then said, "What heart symbol? I meant to say that I rate you as less than three!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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An entire auditorium groaned...

I have a course in religious symbols at university, and we had an assignment to go around town and take pictures of random religious symbols we would stumble over. Next lecture the Professor had made a collection of the best pictures into a powerpoint and we were to spend two hours analyzing them.
After about an hour we came to this picture of a wiccan pentagram in the window above a animalshelter, and the professor asked: "Why do you think this is here?" before I even had time to think, and stop my self I bursted: Maybe a dyslectic thought it was a PETAgram?
Alot of bored students life got a tad more depressing after that...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenJohnnyN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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I started training at my new job and dadjoked by coworkers then got dadjoked by my new boss

So as the title said, I started training today for my new job and we had a huge meeting with all of the heads of the business and one of the heads gave everyone rocks that symbolized something or other.

I look at the rock, then at my two coworkers and say "Hey guys, do you wanna get stoned?" They groaned, as was expected, so I continued with, "Come on guys, don't be so rough on me. Making these puns was pretty hard."

My boss comes up and says "I think your puns rock".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uldyr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2015
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What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

Because I am dying of the flue and will not live much longer, I am now turning over to you this grate responsibility. As a symbol of my blessing, and to make the transfer complete, I therefore pass this mantel to you.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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To all of us, Prince was a very talented musician, composer, songwriter and performer.

But to the recording studios, he was more than that. He was a symbol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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My mom got us this morning

We were all talking about the new Orleans saints symbol and my mom says M: "Its a floor de lees" (that's how she pronounced it) S: "It's pronounced flooor de lee" M: "Oh pardon my french"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/senor_apollo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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My chemistry teacher dropped this one, figured it belongs here.

We were just going over some exam questions, when he said this:

"Yes, I could've made the test easier. You would've gotten questions like:

What is the symbol for Nobelium?

A. Yes B. No

..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilega_dh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2015
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Every single time at the mall...

Whenever we'd look at the mall map, my dad would point at the "you are here" symbol, put on his dad grin, and ask "how do they know where we are?"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
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Punrelenting word play at the Rose Parade

New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinisculePeen
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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Got my son yesterday

So we were coming back from a mountain biking trip and we passed a sign that said "Coda." Both of us being musicians I said, "Hm, looks like we're gonna have to go back there when we get home."

If you don't get it in some musical pieces the composer will put in a coda. They could put in a DS al coda or DC al coda which means either go back to the beginning or a weird s marking, play to the word coda then skip to the coda symbol and play to the end.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
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I am guilty of a dad joke

Trying to make it to the theater on time for a show, with my 12 year old daughter next to me, stuck behind a very slow-moving Cadillac Escalade. Suddenly I throw up some gang symbols and scream "Yo, move it, Escalade, befo things get... Escaladed!"

Daughter goes "omigod" and buries her face in her hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rupispupis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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Dad joked while talking about tattoos.

I was telling my friends and my parents about a tattoo my friend just recently got for his birthday. I was saying how its the symbol for ohms in front of a bunch of smoke.

It was at that point my dad said "And if it had wheels it'd be a mobile ohm!"

No groans, we all busted out in laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tactical_Nick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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Dad joked at work today.

At work we we have a large fireplace we use to heat the shop in the winter. Occasionally a sign shop down the street gives us some long cardboard tubes (think toilet paper but longer and thicker) that we can burn. It's a win-win situation that gets rid of their garbage and provides us heat for the winter.

Anyways I pick up the tubes and come pulling in the shop with a truck bed full. I start unloading when my boss comes up to help out. Upon seeing the tubes he makes the shaka sign (surfer hand symbol with thumb and pinky out) and says "Tubular".

I physically groaned at this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KitKatMasterRace
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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I got my democracy teacher today.

We were going through a slideshow about the different symbols in our government. The slide he was on was a picture of the presidential seal of the eagle. Our teacher went on saying,"The president has a seal, the judicial branch has a seal, different branches of the military have their own seals. Many of them look similar to this." and I interrupted saying,"Uh... Sir? That's an eagle..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSoinico
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
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Digital Logic Dad-Joked

My professor had taught us about these doohickeys called multiplexers, which we sometimes also call "data selectors," in a previous lecture.

At the next lecture we had a review: he would draw a symbol and we would shout out what it represented, and he was hamming it up, acting like a game show host.

He drew a multiplexer on the board and asked the class, "what's this?" "A multiplexer!" some students called out. "Right! Now," says the prof, "what is another word for 'multiplexer'?" "A data selector!" someone answers correctly. But he looks like the student just blew the million-dollar question. "Hmm... 'a data selector'... no, I'm afraid notβ€”that's three words!"

His two young kids have probably learned not to ask him about what he teaches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerrDoktorHugo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
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I finally dad joked my own dad.

I arrived late to a family gathering and saw my dad first. I talked with him for a bit before he said "Go say hi to everyone."

I responded with "I don't think I've met everyone yet, are they nice?"

His annoyed/amused look was the best symbol of success.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sykilik101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2013
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