The Swoop! And Other Stories Puns

Any moment, now.

I glanced to the windows and skylights that drenched me in sunlight, panels of crystalline glass so huge that a blind man could pick me out from the amongst the diners. On second thought, picking a location with so much fragility may not have been a stroke of genius.

"Are you okay, dear?" my darling Sophia asked, her voice sweeter than the tiramisu before us. Natural light scattered in her sapphire eyes, bouncing, like a set of mirrors in the ocean.

I wrinkled my upper lip, itching under a mustache, a wiry, rough thing, like strands of a broom. "Yes, yes. My mind is just... Preoccupied," I replied, glancing to my hands, hidden beneath the table, wincing.

She frowned, but turned back to her dessert. This was the sixth attempt now, and the first time we'd even made it past hors d'oeuvres. Of course, we spent most of our time together in private, but it isn't fair to keep hidden a woman commanding such beauty and presence. Imagine finding the most beautiful exotic bird, a magnificent beast exploding with color and grace, then stuffing it into a cardboard box to shove under a bed.

The fact that they still hadn't arrived was amusing, if nothing else. Wrinkling my lip again, the thought of it made me chuckle despite a sense of looming dread. There would only be one chance.

Thoughts shattered in my mind with the skylights, an ear-piercing crash that threatened everyone below with shards of glass like icicles raining from the sky. Of course, none of it hit us. He would never let it.

'Strike Team 6', they were called, a band of mercenary superheroes that have held sway over the city for years now. Each of them had militaristic might that threatened the greatest army.

"Do you not learn, Cobra?" one of them asked, approaching me. Their leader, the fabled King Crusher. He was a brute of a man, one that hardly looked like a superhero.

"Unfortunately, I have yet to learn how not to need food." Upon wrinkling my lip again, I noticed a distinct lack of the wiry itchiness. Cheap little thing.

"We're not here to monitor your dieting habits, jackass," he replied, taking a step forward. "You've moved against civilians in the past, what would you expect us to do when you suddenly put yourself in a building with eighty other innocent people? It doesn't matter how long you've been quiet for. One drop of that poison of yours could kill a whale in twenty seconds."

I glanced down, flushing slightly.

"Though," he continued, "I will admit that stu

Also taking general suggestions for models to look at. Nothing larger than silhouette 2. Faster with better handling preferred. I'm also interested in which you think is best overall.

Thanks!

Does anyone have any positive experiences flying within Canada using Swoop Airlines? I'm attempting to book a flight to Halifax from Hamilton for next weekend - they are about $500 cheaper than the competitor airlines. However, all I can see (for the most part) are negative stories, with a few positive ones thrown in. I'm not looking for anything fancy, and the flight is really only two hours so I don't care much about food/drinks/leg room. I do have a severe fear of flying though.

Any opinions (negative or positive, really) are appreciated!

Sooner or later, Buzzfeed will make a story on this, creating an influx of normies. People are already stealing content from here and claiming it as their own! The only option to prevent these things from happening is to make this sub private.

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EDIT 1: vlandislov_ Has said that they will look into countering lens stealing.

EDIT 2: IfaqYurmama Has stated that, theoretically, if the sub was made private all users would have to manually be re-added. So there is a few holes in this plan sadly.

There is definitely nothing wrong with this plan...

While browsing r/abrathatfits's excellent wiki, I learned about the "scoop and swoop" technique to ensure that a bra is property supporting one's breasts. I didn't think I had enough in that department for it to matter, but I tried it and... wow.

From this article by Anna of brasandbodyimage.com:

> To put your bra on properly, lean forwards so that your breasts fall into the cups, then fasten the band behind you (you can put the shoulder straps on before or after this part). Then, still leaning forwards, hold either the shoulder strap or the end of the underwire with one hand, and reach into your armpit with the other. Gently scoop from the armpit into the cup. Next, hold the bottom of the underwire with one hand, and reach into the bottom of the cup with the other. Use one hand to align the underwire to sit at the root of your breast, and gently lift your breast up into the cup with the other. You might prefer to align the underwire and then scoop from the armpit, but either way should work quite well.

Their size calculator had put me as a 38C but I didn't believe it, I had room to spare in my 36B bra's cups (US sizes are pretty random, but still.) I figured the above instructions only really mattered for the well-endowed, but after yanking in all my boobage I filled my bra cups fully! Like many trans women, my breasts are quite shallow, so this technique ensures they all actually end up in the bra and not in the armpits like they had previously.

The feeling of a bra that fits properly is amazing and affirming, I haven't worn them much so far but now I might never take this off.

Today on the 5 I saw a black Toyota SUV with a handicap license plate trying to force crashes by cutting you off and then brake-checking you. There were at least two people in the car. They tried it with me, and at least 3 other cars that I could see before they drove out of view.

Also, to the dickweeds doing this, maybe consider that your $20,000 insurance payout isn't worth potentially dying for?

What Mary-Sue DM stories have you guys got to share?

There’s no reason to have big abilities tied to an innately cosmetic decision. I for one will be upset if I have to pick the Fae as my Covenant on my Warlock because the ability is just too good for PvP. (Or M+, or Raiding, etc)

I think the idea of learning new powerful abilities as you navigate through a new world makes more sense, narrative wise, anyway.

To expand. He would run into a room and quickly look around before moving on and then later on that version of himself would be hiding behind a chair in the same room as his "past" self entered and looked quickly through the room in exactly the same way. He seems to be in the middle of this scenario as there are versions ahead of him and "spawning" behind him exactly as he himself woke up He would see these other versions of himself in a variety of situations and eventually witnessed one murder? another, prompting a chase scene maybe? I remember he was frightened of the other versions of himself. I know for sure the film ended when he made it outside to the roof revealing identical buildings around him and another version of himself on the opposite building jumping off and committing suicide, followed by himself committing suicide because he knew he had to follow the predestination.

So my 83 year old hermit of a cousin passed recently. I live 2 doors down from him. I probably saw him the most frequent just due to this fact, and I still only saw him about every other month. He kept weird hours and wouldn't return phone calls, so if you saw him outside you just had to run over there and hope he didnt hit you with his car on the way to the store.

He had a fairly hard life, his mother (my grandmother's sister) was abusive and hated him especially because he was gay. He spent most of his youth in military school and ran away across the country to L.A. when he was old enough.

I know he had a long term partner. And I know that partner died many years ago from the horrible disease that seemed to plague most of the gay community back in the day.

My cousin never had children, and always had several dogs that he treated insanely well, making their food from chicken and rice, letting them sleep in the bed....

He was also, quite frankly, disgusting. I'm sure that being ostracized by his immediate family had a lot to do with it, he had a room in his house that was literally full of dog crap, as much as we tried to get him to clean it up he simply said he didnt give a shit and laughed about it. Even at his advanced age he was physically able so it's not like we could have forced him... most of the areas in the house that he used were clean enough, even though the smell lingered...

Anyway he was found on Friday. But the coroner said he had probably been dead about 3 weeks. And everything you could assume about a nasty house with a decomposing body in 100 degree weather is exactly what happened. He was black and gooey. Bugs everywhere. The smell...

I'm not saying any of this for shock value but just to set the scene. When the neighbor between us called me and told me the police and the coroner were outside I left work and rushed over.

Only to see the attorney/vulture of the family already there. Had already walked into the house looking for any important documents. Had already grabbed check books and bank statements yet refused to sign the cremation order because he wasn't "next of kin" that honor fell to my 102 year old aunt that's currently in a nursing home and blind...

He had 3 dogs. One of them was outside and apparently the neighbor had been putting water and bread over the fence for days but didnt call the police for a welfare check... the other two are chihuahuas and he never even let them outside. Ever. Just let them go in the shi

Just wondering.