So I threw Dave off a cliff, just in case it was him.
If it sinks, girl ant.
If it floats, buoyant.
It’s simply because they just had a square meal
The project was dew the next day.
To get to the other slide
Wow, you’ve got problems...
I said, “That makes two of us.”
It's called forensic flies
Apparently they’re pretty light.
I Lab you
That's why they say, "The end is Nye."
Alice and Bob were a loving and happily-married couple. Through the years, while they had their little differences, they could rest assured knowing they could work out said differences. This way, their bond grew stronger as the years went by.
However, there was one facet of their life that always had them at loggerheads. Alice never believed the weather forecast put out by Rudy, at their local TV station, despite Bob's attempts to convince her otherwise.
"I don't trust him. He's a liar, and he's always wrong. Worse still, he's a communist."
"I really don't see what his political leaning has to do with the accuracy of his forecasts, darling."
"Mark my words, Bobby, I'll be proven right".
And yet, when the forecast predicted sunny weather and the sun blazed down, Alice remained unconvinced.
An accurate forecast of snow? "Bah, even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
And so it went on. Bob found the predictions accurate (or as accurate as one can hope for from tea-leaf reading or whatever science the weathermen used). However, Alice wouldn't budge.
One morning, Alice was dressing to go walking, and Bob had his hands full trying to convince her otherwise.
"Sweetie, they say there's going to be a torrential downpour soon. Can't you walk another day?"
"Absolutely not! You might not want to join me, but I'm getting my walking in for the day."
"At least take an umbrella, or a raincoat with you. You're going to get drenched, Allie."
"How can you be so sure it's going to rain, huh? Still trusting that charlatan?"
Bob sighed, drew himself up and pronounced: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
The rest, as they say, is History.
Science!
Me, emptying the dishwasher and mentioning the r/science story about chemicals in the powder causing gut inflammation.
Wife, reads the ingredients and says, "oh, it's made in Poland"
"Ah, so that's how it polishes the plates"
Wife and kid: audible groans and they just stare at me.
(It was over an hour ago and I'm still buzzing).
They were non-binary
The lab tech said the skeleton had nobody.
As we were leaving for our respective jobs, the opportunity presented itself thus:
Wife: My bike seat is a bit dewy.
Me: At least it'll be easy to sort.
I had to remind her that she has a library science degree before she got it...
They found him out-standing in his field.
I had to de-Nye him.
It wasn’t bad for a constellation prize.
I lost My Chemical Romance
The end is nye
One of them protested, but he was just being a B rat.
A genie-ologist.
He's a stem major.
The lard ash was everywhere!
Me: How did you do on the muscles and bones test?
Son: I mixed up the cranium and the skull.
Me: That was a boneheaded mistake.
Son: (Sarcastic) Ha ha.
I guess he didn't find my joke humerus.
Flying Saucer
I told her she told us a lye
I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.
He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."
Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."
Ferrous metal's day off
But it was [deleted]
Fission chips.
H²Oh!
I said, “That makes two of us.”
Me: That makes two of us.
Me: That makes two of us.
