The Reel Me Puns

I asked him, 'whats the catch?'

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

Me: Shit just got real (we were throwing a ball of paper back and forth, and I he hit me in the face with it) Boss: You want real? I'll show you real! (Boss walks to grab something, returns with a fishing reel) Boss: This is reel!

Salmon once told me that if you can carry a tuna you can be a star - fish aside, it's best not to have a weight and sea approach. Start to give a carp about your jib, carefullly line up your ducks in a roe and when the opportunity comes you'll be reeling! Always remember to never do anything just for the Halibut!

I'm a college kid that works fast food part time to pay the bills. However, I managed to get two of my friends jobs there aswell, and our manager is pretty cool. So we have good times there and it's never quiet.

Anyway, I was bagging up an order, and my manager thought it would be funny to follow me and tell me exactly how to do everything; open the bag, put the box in the bag, receipt in the bag, blah blah blah and so on. Once I had handed out the order, she was like,

"Alright job, thanks to me".

I responded,

"Oh yeah you were great. They should promote you to micromanager."

Got a good laugh out of everybody, and it will be on my life's highlight reel if I have anything to say about it

The theme was fish/ocean related things. We passed around the usual "reel-y" and "shore you will" jokes until, in his words, I dropped the A-bomb of fish jokes.

Me: Do you know why fish swim in schools instead of churches?

Brother: Why?

Me: Because fish are like, "Ick- theology."

My brother then stood up and left the room for five minutes. When he came back...

Brother: You're a monster.

Me: Nah, I'm just moray eel-y corrupt.

Me: Dad I to buy some new boat shoes these ones look beaten up

Dad: Aboat time...Sound like they need to go to the doc

Me: Dad why do you this

Dad: What do you mean? I'm keeping it reel here. Facepalm + Groan Intensifies

I was helping my mother last night move things inside the garage for the storm.

Her: Can you bring the bag from the bed of my truck in? Me: There's just fishing poles back here, want those inside? Her: Just the reel part. Me: with a 2 second pause Well, these aren't fake fishing poles. Her: ehehstare