Everyone's heard of Beverly Hills, 90210. But do you know the zip to Dawson's Creek?
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows that the zip code for Beverly Hills is 90210 thanks to the show, but not as many people know the zip code to Dawson’s Creek.

It’s 90108

^...for ^our ^^lives ^^^to ^^^be ^^^over...

πŸ‘︎ 898
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jakemg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when chickens lay eggs at the top of a hill?

Egg rolls

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Von_Bostaph
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....

Those were the GOODYEARS.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffro4140
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Harry Potter like to get to the bottom of a hill? Walking

J/K

Rolling

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gogo726
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was pulling my trailer over a steep hill and just as I started going downhill the trailer passed me and crashed at the bottom of the hill.

I guess it went down without a hitch

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I had real trouble getting a spoon out of the dishwasher.

How it got stuck up her butt I'd never know.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...

the lowercases ._.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...

"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Not really a Joke, but just being a Dad.

OK, when my first kid became cognizant, about two years old, I would wait until I could see the street light was going to turn green, just blow at it, and it would turn green. I never said a word. I would just do it.

After doing this for about a year or so, my daughter caught on and could not figure out how I was doing this.

She finally asked me, "Daddy Magic", of course.

She is now 31, and she still blows at street lights.

That is the real Daddy Magic.

πŸ‘︎ 453
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phredex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the author of Harry Potter go down a hill?

Walking

JK

Rolling

sorry if it’s a repost my cousin told me it like 2 months ago

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xDaf2ya
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.

No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leebo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamt a pun so bad it woke me up.

Last night I dreamt I was turning my handwriting into a custom font.

It started out normal with basic straight lines but by β€œZ” it had become a very ornate and filigreed design, reminiscent of the designs of monks in old bibles.

Someone watching me work then asked me what the font was called.

I responded: What’s a monk’s favourite font?

They shook their head and shrugged.

Me: MonastArial!

I started laughing but only received an exasperated sigh in return.

Me: Wait, I’ve got another one. How about GaraMonk? 🀣

Ahhhhnd I woke myself up because I was laughing so hard at my own joke and had to look up of Monastarial was a real word. It is.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diablo_girl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I had the body of a young muscled and sexy man, she laughed real hard and me fun of me

Until she looked in the closet

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmingFriend
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
One of my favorite childhood memories is when my dad used to roll us down the hill inside of a tire.

Those were the Goodyears.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoneMoreHip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new game getting released? It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. It’s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My mother-in-law always wanted to visit the Valley of a Thousand Hills, so I've booked her trip -

a week on each hill.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m a real social guy, I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...

I don’t know Y

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElemesUK
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cylindrical container full of clowns rolling down the hill?

A barrel of laughs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I just bought a home in the rolling hills of Kentucky, where race horses are bred...

The air is clean and the neigh-bors are pretty cool.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall into a ravine on the other side...

...needless to say, he lost his sh*t.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shi-Rokku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I was thinking of a joke about Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the hill, but then it lost momentum.

But it still has potential.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I planted an acorn on the side of a hill, and it took forever to grow.

It turned out to be a real slope oak.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nodecam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The God of Thunder went into real estate.

He's quite the realthor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call members of the King of the Hill Hall of Fame?

Apex Legends

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pinefinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Ok, another one from the "Just being a Dad" series.

Early days with the kids. five, six? I don't really remember, but it was about the time they were afraid of "Monsters" in the closet, under the bed, always at night. Frustrating!

Anyway, I used to put water in a spray bottle, add just a little of my aftershave (so it smelled like me), and I created a label for "Monster Spray". The label looked damn good, it looked "real" at least to a six year old.

Spray under the bed, around the room, in the closet, wherever. It worked so well that every kid in the neighborhood was borrowing it!

Years later, a young niece was afraid of "Bee's" in her dreams, I guess she had been stung, so I turned my brother on to the secret. We made "Monster and Bee Spray" for her.

To this day, I think the secret was the little bit of aftershave, and that we took it seriously.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phredex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Sebastian Vettel told this joke today in the press conference before the Monaco grand prix

There's a matchstick climbing up the hill who gets really tired and exhausted.

He sees a hedgehog on the top of the hill and says, "if only I had known there was a bus, I would have taken the bus."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lilboyteddy
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The quality of puns has taken a real dive recently but wait until you sea mine
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fair_SOTS
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The real origin of the sauce called Worcestershire

While it's true it was invented by a restaurant owner in Worcestershire, he couldn't come up with a catchy name. Serving it to a customer, the owner asked them how they liked their dinner. The customer replied, "It was delicious! What's this here sauce?"

Personal note: this is an authentic dad joke from my dad.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danno49
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad got me while listing the legislative buildings of several countries. He said, β€œThe US has Capitol Hill, Germany has the Reichstag Building, the UK has the Palace of Westminster...

...and Australia has the Outback Statehouse.”

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
So 3 roads walked into a bar

A length of freeway walked into a bar, and yelled out "I'm the meanest bit of road west of the Pesos, nobody wanna mess with me!"

Then some duplicated overpass walked into the bar. "Anybody think they're tough enough to take on this piece of transit infrastructure? Well, are ya?"

Finally a stretch of dual carriageway walked into the bar. "This bad boy is badder than all you weaklings, whaddya gonna do about it!"

As they were all glaring at each other in a Mexican standoff, some bicycle laneway walked into the bar, threw a chair out of the way and kicked over a table. "I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, baddest piece of asphalt there is! You're all soft snowflakes! Ain't anyone who has the guts to take me on!"

The first three roadways all immediately turned to the bar and started meekly sipping their drinks, trying to look inconspicuous. The bartender asked them "What's the matter, are you going to let him get away with that? Why don't you stand up to him?"

"We aren't going to mess with him", they replied, "He's a real cycle path".

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SurfingSherlock
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
am i real, do we exist, wht is the meaning of life
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzapipol
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Jay-Z is DMing a D&D campaign for his son.

Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.

"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.

Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JinTaisa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Tired!

I have great memories of my childhood. I remember my dad taking me up to the downs and putting me in a tyre and rolling me down the hill!

They were good years

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolPaul75
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The village under the sea

Long ago there was a village under the sea. In that village lived a collection of fish, lot's of different kinds, along with Ted the strong octopus, and they all lived happily. Near the village, there was a cave whose entrance was blocked by a large stone, and above it, there was an inscription saying β€œWhen real danger arrives, open the cave, and you will all be saved”.

One day the village was attacked by a shoal of piranhas. The fish rush to the cave and try to push the boulder aside, but it is too large for them, so they go to Ted the strong octopus to ask for help, but Ted says β€œNo, this danger is not big enough for us to need the cave, we will be fine without it.”. The fish begged and argued, but there was no convincing Ted, so they had to fight the piranhas without whatever was in the cave, and against all odds, they managed to defeat them with minimal losses, and all agreed that Ted was right.

After a fair bit of time, the village was attacked again by a bed of moray eels. Again the fish rushed to the cave to try to push the boulder aside, and again they failed, for it was too large for them, so they rush to Ted to ask for help. β€œNo,” Ted said again β€œthis danger is not as big as you think it is. We will manage just fine without the contents of the cave. Leave that for a bigger threat.”. And so the fish asked and begged, Ted, told them that all 8 of his hands were tied, he wouldn't help with moving the boulder, so they ended up fighting the morays, and to everyone's surprise, they actually managed to save the village. All again reluctantly agreed that although a deus ex machina would have been good, they didn't end up needing one.

Time passed and life was normal in the village until a Shiver of Sharks was spotted in the distance. Everyone panicked, and, knowing that they couldn't move the boulder alone, they rushed to Ted. β€œAgain, the danger is not big enough, we will survive,” said Ted, and no matter what they did they couldn't change his mind, so they all rushed to the boulder in a desperate attempt to move it. As they were giving up, a very old fish that everyone trusted said β€œDo not worry, for Ted is wise, and he knows when the danger is real, and he knows when to use the contents of the cave. Have faith that if he says we will be fine, we will survive this, and when octopush comes to shove, the cave will open.”.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skilopsaros
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I can’t be the only one thinking this... it must take a real set of balls to become a sperm donor
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sxbih
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.