People dying from laughter are why the quest for immortality is no joke.

We are all doomed!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RuskiHuski
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I found the start of my PokΓ©mon quest!!! (Pallet town)
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
In 1935, an American went out on a quest to discover the Loch Ness monsters. He found that according to legend, there were at least 10 in existence. Instead of trying Scotland, he believed the US might have these lake monsters. In which state did he begin his quest?

Tennessee

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TITANofATHENS
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of his quest the prince realized he should never have eaten that mushroom.

That is the morel of this story.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PdSales
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
In the bedroom, you can call me a mischievous seafaring Trojan on a quest

Because I like to get Argonaughty

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_Printer_AMA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
🚨︎ report
My daughter wants a long board and I asked her about brand names. She talked about Arbor, Quest and some others. I told her stay away from "star" because it always pulls to the right.

"port is left and starboard is right... get it?? huh? huh??"

"Sadly dad,, I do.."

discussion was by text.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kjvlv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
🚨︎ report
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...

I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a toeless veteran dad say to his son?

He has lack-toes intolerance.

I-I'll see myself out. Just like the dad on his eternal quest for milk-

Sorry, I need to stop milking this joke. Feel free to kick my dairy-ere out the door.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/animeten10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
In my family, we like to ridicule whoever gets the fewest amount of gifts at Christmas.

(This is a true story.)

Usually this is my Dad. My Mom will be opening presents all day, and Dad is done after he unwraps his three gifts.

We really give him a hard time and he loves it. He's a champ.

Well one year, we're opening gifts, and my brother's got almost nothing in his little pile. He had recently bought a house and his main gift was a garden hose.

This is exciting because we're gonna just tear into him. He is a good sport and he is ready to bask in the glory of his Christmas failure.

We finish the unwrapping and my Dad looks over to him and says "Well son, you really got hosed this year".

P.S. I am x-posting my own comment from an AskReddit thread at someone's suggestion, and definitely NOT in a shameless quest for karma.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jbenz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
The Sound of Monks

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man sa,ys, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the kno

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nemofish3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I was so so proud of this one

I'm playing skyrim but I'm too much of a lazy bum to walk/run to my destination so I go into console and type in tcl and just run straight through the clouds to my quest. My friend asks me what I'm doing (he just walked in and isn't looking at me) and I explain that I'm hovering 3000 or so feet above a major city. "Hamza," he asks, "how many drugs are you on?" "Oh, I'm not on drugs. I'm just really high."

It's lame but it's my first one and I'm rather proud of it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamza78ch11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.