The Poles Puns

Because then it would be bipolar.

He says it’s impossible to make ends meet

A lot of people looked up to him

...but really, there’s a whole world of differences between them.

So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position

Hes known as the bi-polar bi-polar bi polar bear.

Tommy proudly answered, "North, South and Tad!"

Bi-polar

Because the world revolves around them

Santatizer.

It just went south from there

We can call it "Elf on a Shellfish"

Yeah it's because of all of the rain, deer.

He responded, "No, I'm German. And how did you know my name was Walter?"

Eggloos.

Sleighvery

Santaria.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

Sirius, aka The Dog Star.

Because they are polar opposites.

"Nope..." came the laconic reply, "...just feeding 'em worms."

Because it's so brrr up there.

UBrrr.

Crap, this is the point of the journey where it all goes south.

(Not a true story, but as a dad I would totally do this.)

It's called Santa's Twerkshop

In Philad-elf-ia.

It was great while I was there but after that my holiday just went south.

And he said “no I’m German but how did you know my name was Walter?”

It can write other things too.

One is killed with the cold and the other is cold with the kilt.

Santa Claws

Nothing, they are polar opposite

Because of his great presents !

(Shout out to my local radio station for sharing that joke this morning.)

I bet it is way cooler than you think

He said “My name is Vilhelm; I’m a Hungarian. The Pole, Valter, didn’t qualify.”

I don't think I could bear it

I guess that's why all my Christmas presents come from Amazon.

But the steaks were too high

a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

all go to a bar..

The doorman stops them and says "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.

There's presents here

They set the bar very high

...because that's the center of a tent son.

An Arctichoke...

They're polar opposites.