I tried to go to the grand opening of my local library

Sadly, it was booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camman85
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2022
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What did the frog say when he opened an app on his phone in the library?

"Reddit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Conversations with my father

When I was young I told my dad, β€œWhen I grow up I want to be a musician.” My dad looked at me sternly and said, β€œYou know, son, you can’t do both.”

Looking at the huge tree in our front yard, my dad advised me, β€œDon’t trust that tree. It’s shady.”

We were in the library together and my dad checked out a huge book on accounting. I asked why he was bothering to get that book. β€œI need to take this book to my doctor. It has a bloated appendix.”

My dad once told me, β€œI do yoga daily with your mother.” Then he added, β€œBy β€˜do yoga’ I mean I put my foot in my mouth.”

My dad was always telling me to exercise. He said I need to walk two miles a day. After a month of doing that, I called him, β€œOkay, now I’m in Seattle. What do I do now?”

My dad loved Clint Eastwood. I heard that Clint just opened a preschool: β€œGo Ahead Make My Day Care.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevekimes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2022
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President Bush dad jokes his daughter (and the nation) during art gallery interview. [Video, @1:14]

Jenna Bush Hager interviews her dad (Bush 43) for an NBC special on the opening of his art exhibition at the Bush Presidential Library. About a minute in, he slips in a pretty good dad joke:

Jenna: Do these people know that you are painting them?

Bush: Sort of. There's no telling how these people are going to react. I think I told Tony [Blair] I was painting him and he sort of brushed it off.

Jenna: No 'art pun' intended.

Bush: That was definitely an art pun.

http://www.today.com/video/today/54864022#54864022

Edit: Grammar.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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Tragic victim of dad joke

I went to the library with the kids (7 y/o girl, 3 y/o boy) I nanny and got all these children's books for the little boy. We got home and I opened them to read to him and there were no words. Just pictures. Me: Are you kidding me? Little girl: What is it? Me: This book has no words! Girl: You shouldn't of judged the book by its cover. Needless to say she owned me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supernanny9108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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