The List Puns

1. great

2. great

3. great

4. great

5. great

6. great

7. great

8. great

9. great

10. An absolute cracker

Now I can’t read anything.

if i reddit right

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

The game will be pointless

#1

#2

The doctor replies: "Wow nurse! That's very Organ-ized!"

Bucket 1 Bucket 2 Bucket 3 Bucket 4 Bucket 5 Bucket 6

That way it doesn't matter how naughty you were.

He was told to make a Yule log.

Then I realized it was because they were bulletproof

An evangelist

I’m 6ft 2” how big are the others?

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

It was the list I could do

1. alright
2. alright
3. alright
4. alright
5. alright
6. alright
7. alright
8. alright
9. alright
10. absoutely briliant

$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

Number 3 will shock you

But No pun in ten did.

And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”

Shirts? Yup. Pants? Yup. Sweatpants? Yup. Nikes? CHECK!

Edit: Grammar

Wife: (being sweet) thank you! What am I ever gonna do without you?

Me: Everything! Without me, you’re gonna have to do everything on that list.

Wife: groans and rolls eyes

[from NPR-- this sub doesn't allow link posts]

The annual turkey pardon is a silly tradition, and President Obama knows it. On Wednesday, before pardoning turkeys named Tater and Tot, Obama summed up his feelings about this particular duty.

"It is my great privilege — well, it's my privilege — actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon," Obama said.

Not in attendance for the president's final turkey pardoning ceremony were first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, who gamely laughed alongside their father last year. So instead, the president's nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson stood by for what Obama called his "corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

And thus began a pun-fest for the ages. Here's a list of President Obama's groaners from this year's pardoning ceremony:

"Actually [Sasha and Malia] just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."

"What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

"Tater is here in a backup role just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. So he's sort of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

"I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky. Who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. Who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

[After touting positive economic indicators and the low uninsured rate] "That's worth gobbling about."

"We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed."

"When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: 'Yes, we cran.' "

"Look, I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers."

"And now from the Rose Garden, Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is admittedly a bit hokey." (The Hokies are the Virginia Tech mascot.)

"And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."

[from NPR -- http://www.npr.org/2016/11/23/503178220/president-obamas-2016-turkey-pardon-dad-jokes-the-definitive-list?utm_source=facebook.com

Because they're naughty-cal

http://imgur.com/frPfRRx

• Kroger

• Wal-Mart

• Lucky's

• Whole Foods

• Winn Dixie

etc, etc

Her: So how are we doing with Toilet Paper?

Me: I've been practicing for 30 years, i think i got a good technique going.

Doc: Wow, it's very organized ;)

He was named Justin Case.

Now I can’t read anything

Now I can't see anything

Now I can't read anything.

Now I can't read anything.

Now I can't read anything .

1. great

2. great

3. great

4. great

5. great

6. great

7. great

8. great

9. great

10. An absolute cracker

Now I can't read any of it

But now I can't read anything.

Now I can't read it.

Johnny: “3, 5, 6, 1, 8, 9, 2, 4, 10 and 7”

Now she's mad at me because we can't read it anymore