After hearing me sing my music teacher suggested I should be a tenor.....
Tenor twelve feet away from earshot.
Breaking news regarding the notorious abuser of a certain Irish novelist.
Which tenor took his sugar pills every Sunday?
My Mother-in-law is 80% Irish
Why are the Irish so wealthy?
Because their capital is always Dublin
What do you call an Irish possum?
Why do the Irish always put 239 beans in their soup?
Because anymore would be too farty.
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
What does a worker at the Irish sperm bank say after you are finished?
What's Irish and sits out on the sidewalk
After hearing me sing for the first time, my music teacher told me I should be tenor.
Tenor twelve feet away from her and all musical instruments at all times.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
If the Scottish and the Irish went to war, no matter the victor, both sides would have kilt it.
Did you hear the one about the Irish mobster that was killed for stealing Little trinkets?
It seemed to be the first case of a NikNak Paddywhack
I was singing in the car, dad asked me if I could sing solo tenor.
Solo I can’t hear you, tenor 11 miles down the road.
What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.
Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history?
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints!
I bought an imitation diamond engagement ring to propose to my Irish girlfriend on St Patrick's day. I just hope she doesn't notice..
Argon enters a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
What do you call an Irish man who stays out all night?
Patty O'Furniture.
Have a Happy St. Paddy's Day and stay safe!
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
What was a very common name in the middle ages?
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"
"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
I recently started a new business making Irish lawn chairs
I call it Paddy O’Furniture
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
There were a few irish friends in a pub and one of them was telling a joke about cows but no one laughed.
He should have told a udder joke
Did you know that your pupils are the last parts to stop working after you die?
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.
The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
Oh the tangled web we weave ...
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
why are the irish so wealthy?
there capital is always dublin
After hearing me sing for the first time, my music teacher said that I should be tenor.
Ten or twenty feet away from her at all times.
After hearing me sing for the first time, my music teacher suggested that I should be tenor.
Ten or twelve feet away from her at all times.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
