A list of puns related to "The Invitation"
When I went there, everybody was wearing suits and pants too
Dad: That's oddly specific. Would 6:36 be too early?
It's an exclusive member ship.
They’re too cultured.
Me: "it wasn't there already!?"
His funeral is tomato.
Nah, I’m-a stay.
"Alpaca bag."
That's a real shame, last time he hosted it absolutely slapped
I told them I’m gonna come early.
Luckily I know sigh language.
Every cheerleader I spoke to said he made a pass.
I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.
Because it’s a fun guy
They could easily spike the punch.
They said "We don't know we've never got this far".
Because there wasn’t mushroom.
He had a hearty meal!
Everyone knows a mushroom to be a fungi
Namaste home and stretch
Why do the 3 little pigs only invite Ravenclaws, Slytherins, and Gryffindors over to their houses?
Because the only other house will Hufflepuff and blow their house down!
they always be raisin the roof!
(my sister told me that one today lmao)
When I got there he said to make myself at home. So I kicked him out because I don't like having company over.
Currently, they are kind of a buzzkill.
I meandered down to the bar, take a seat and he sets a tall glass in front of me, icy and bubbly. I take a sip, tell my buddy, "This is good!" He says "Thank You" and moves off to take care of other customers. I continue to sip the drink, trying to identify what is in it. Hmm... gin, tonic, something else... I cannot identify. I notice halfway through the drink I am feeling pretty good! I continue to sip and hang out until I take the last drink. And then, BLAM! I am out. I awake a while later to my buddy shaking me and asking how I am. I was still feeling pretty drunk, and asked him "Just what in the heck was in that drink?" He grins and holds up this bottle of oddly colored liquid. "This" he says, "Is the secret ingredient. I make a regular gin and tonic, and add this to it. What is it?" I ask. "It is the extracted essence of feline follicles!" "CAT HAIR!" I scream. "Yup! And everyone has the same reaction you did! They finish the drink and pass out!" "What the heck do you call this drink?"
Cat-a-Tonic!
Because he was below C-level.
a crypto-night
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
“I don’t think your ready for this jelly.”
I am not atendon
But all he does is shoulder shrugs and it’s starting to feel like it’s just one of his traps.
Because only Earth, Wind, and Fire know how to groove.
Because he was a funny bone.
(brought to you by my resident 10 year old)
He replied, "You're the 8th".
It was a big missed steak.
I’m down.
He kept saying "hail Santa"
Let's compile the greatest, most eye rolling, groan inducing list of xmas themes dad jokes so we can all make our relatives not invite us next year!
I'll start;
Why can't Santa stop delivering presents? There's a Claus in his contract
What's Santa's favourite metal band? Sleigher
To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.
"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."
“Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."
“Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."
“Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."
“Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."
Because he is a fun guy (fungi)
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
Because it was Crypto-night
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
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