A list of puns related to "The Independents"
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
It's an abomination.
Sea stars are doin' it for themselves
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Student: “False. It was written in ink.”
My daughter said, "that makes them the founding feathers, dad."
I've never been so proud.
They renamed it the decoration of independence.
Dad: "What did Will do?"
The Decoration of Independence.
-My partner's joke.
Will Smith's property (150 acres) is larger than Vatican City (110 acres). Therefore, if he were to do so, it would not be the smallest country.
That day would be known as independence day.
The country would be a Fresh Principality.
As he gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, he said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
...independent!"
“I’m married to an incredible woman 40 years my junior who likes to make love three times a day. She is the best homemaker and conversationalist and she is independently wealthy. We have the greatest life”.
“That sounds wonderful” I said “Why are you crying?”
“I can’t remember where we live!” he wailed.
It's because when the United States declared independence, they said, "we don't want u anymore."
We call it the decoration of independence.
He got the paperwork on the 2nd and waited to sign until the 4th because it's "Independence day"
The Decoration of Independence
My wife is making "Emerald Salad" for the Independence Day party we are attending. Crusing down the aisles, looking for ingredients...she asks, "Are there nuts in this aisle?" I step in front of her and lock eyes..."Yes, Yes there are nuts in this aisle."
A few years ago, there was a series of murders that seemed completely independent from one another, aside from two similarities. Each of the victims had received an e-mail the day prior that was typed in all caps, and contained a joke, with the punchline being a play on words. The victims also all had felony convictions. In light of the second fact, many people felt that the murderers were doing a service to the public. Many others disagreed, however, and those against the murders all rallied under the same slogan: End Capital Punishment.
I was watching Michael Collins, a movie about the Irish war of independence, when my dad walked into the room.
"Oh Michael Collins is on, when did it start?" He asked
"Around 1916" I responded
He groaned and then walked out of the room. After many years I have finally gotten him back. This is a pretty big moment for me guys.
We were discussing how July 3rd is the Observed Holiday for Independence Day this year.
Co-worker: I just don't get that...
Boss: It's so all of the government workers have a day off... and so mailmen don't go postal
I was working on the 4th of July. Guy comes in. Orders a burger with a side of French fries. We were out of fries so he decides to order a side soup: French onion. I ring in the order and he goes outside to wait, there were a few other customers out there smoking.
The chef calls the front desk to let me know that we were also out of French onion. It was late at night so this happens occasionally.
I go outside to let him know we were out, so that he can order something else. The other costumers smoking overhear me telling him that "We are out of French onion soup". The guy smoking says "man, you guys are out of French fries too what the heck?"
I chime in "well it is Independence Day."
They all laughed, and the guy ordered the lobster bisk. I high fived myself on the way back to the stand.
Sorry for the lengthy post.
Yesterday, my boss came in and mentioned that our team in India (with whom I work with quite a bit) would not be working tomorrow. I asked him why and he said, "Well, it's the Indian Independence Day..." then with a glint in his eye he said,
"India-pendence Day"
Me: Do you know what the percentages were for the Scottish independence voting?
Dad: Yes, I do..
Me: What were they?
Dad: They were different.
So I was having a late dinner with my roommate on the last day of our reading break, and we ended up on the topic of historical literacy. This is what followed:
RM: "When was the Declaration of Independence signed?"
Me: "1776."
RM: "Yeah, but specifically what was it signed on?"
Me: "Uh, The Fourth of July?"
RM: "No, it was signed on paper."
Needless to say, I double-facepalmed and finished my shake with that weird feeling you get after such a joke.
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At the bottom.
I call it the decoration of independence!
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