Did you hear about the T-rex who sells guns?
He's a small arms dealer.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” Puzzled, the teller asks, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber yells, “Don’t change the subject!"
Why did the cannibal go to the gun shop?
He heard they dealt in arms
Brought my kids to the pool and they started shooting at me with water guns. “That’s for all your bad dad jokes!!” they screamed.
I replied, “thanks, they were getting kind of dry.”
The gun actually goes off in the 2nd...
What is the correct ratio of gun powder to essential oils?
I want this bath bomb to be perfect.
Saw the trailer for the new Top Gun movie
It looked kinda plane to me
Here's a joke my daughter just told me, so proud of her! A guy walked into a house when the owners were home. He pulled out a gun and shot them in the head, but no one died. Why not?
Because they were in the living room.
I heard on the news, a man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.
Apparently he's now completely recovered
My wife asked why I carry a gun in the house.
I told her decepticons.
She laughed.
I laughed.
The toaster laughed.
I shot the toaster.
I was arrested for having jello in the shape of a gun in my bag
The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it won’t work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
My friend got pulled over and the cop drew his gun on him!
Luckily the ink washed off after a couple days
What did the angry gun say to the bullet after shooting it?
I was cleaning my finger gun the other day...
And shot a hole in my air guitar.
I dropped my gun in the avocado dip. . .
Now is glockamole.
I don't care, I'll eat it anyway tomorrow on my toast for breakfast at ate a glock in the morning.
Did you hear about the TRex that got caught selling hand guns?
Apparently being a small arms dealer is frowned upon.
What happens when you give the sun a gun?
It becomes a shooting star.
Somebody just walked into the store with a gun.
The term "getting the most bang for your buck" can be applied in a gun store and with a hooker
Did you hear about the guy that got shot with an upholstery gun 200 times?
They said he's fully recovered.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
I don’t like to use the word “gun”
Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?
A man was attacked by a guy with an upholstery nail gun the other day.
He's okay. He's recovered now.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin’ Terry
Did you hear that a group of dads created the ultimate gun?
What does the marxman put in his gun?
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
If you ask a member of the NRA what they think about machine guns, be prepared.
They'll give you an automatic response.
The ultimate dad joke a Hollywood could pull would be casting Ryan Gosling as Goose’s son in Top Gun 2.
What did the hunter say when his gun stopped working?
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. If you don't get it look up "panda" in the dictionary ...
"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."
Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:
"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"
It's no wonder guns became more the more popular weapon over swords...
...compared to guns, swords just don't cut it.
The glue from my Hot glue gun disappeared and I don't know Why.
Did you hear about the flower seller who got held up at gun point...
... he was a petrified florist.
Did you hear about the gun that only shoots Israeli produced bullets?
I hear it's a semite automatic weapon.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
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