Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
really only driven from time to time..
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︎ Jul 01 2021
So in a stunning turnabout my 8 year old nailed me with a great dad joke. βWhatβs the worst smelling monster in mythology?β
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︎ Jul 01 2021
Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..
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︎ May 29 2021
The great apple?
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︎ Jun 17 2021
What do Jack the Ripper, Catherine the Great, William the Conqueror, and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
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︎ Jun 11 2021
Did you hear about the great German pub?
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︎ Jun 20 2021
Todayβs a great day to go to the cemetery.
Itβs dead quiet and people are dying to go out.
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︎ Jun 06 2021
What's common between Winnie the pooh and Alexander the great??
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︎ Jul 07 2021
I know where to store all the great dad jokes found in this subreddit
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︎ Jun 25 2021
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Y'know elevator jokes are great, but...
If you really wanna step it up, make one about staircases
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︎ Jul 06 2021
I know a great knock-knock joke,
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︎ Jun 30 2021
KFC were offering great deals on popcorn chicken the other day...
Now that's what I call getting more bang for your cluck.
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︎ Jun 27 2021
Udder greatness
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︎ Jul 07 2021
Matthew McConaugheyβs new book is a great read, but he almost didnβt write itβ¦
After some convincing from family and friends he finally said, βIβll write, Iβll write, Iβll write.β
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︎ Jul 05 2021
I had a really great conversation with a dolphin yesterday.
I donβt know, we just clicked.
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︎ Jun 20 2021
Why did the animal doctor go through great lengths to hide his true identity?
Because he was a veteran Aryan.
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︎ Jun 18 2021
The opera wasn't that great.
But it ended on a high note.
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︎ May 11 2021
I will become the next great god. The embodiment of Thor and Odinβs power.
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︎ May 06 2021
Whatβs so great about living in Switzerland?
Well, their flag is a big plus
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︎ Jun 16 2021
Trading my male deer for my neighbor's female deer was a great deal.
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︎ Jun 30 2021
Inspector Morse is a great detective
He always dots his I's and crosses his T's
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︎ Jul 03 2021
On Father's Day, my wife and kids woke me up, lifted their coffee cups and said, "You're great, splendid, magnificent, superb, fantastic"
Me: What's this?
Wife: When I asked you what you wanted for your father's day breakfast, you said 'just a coffee and synonym toast'.
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︎ Jul 03 2021
I just thought of a great joke about second guessing
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︎ May 18 2021
Just remembered a great, Depression-era dad joke my grandfather used to tell...
"If I had some steak, I'd have some steak and eggs, if I had some eggs."
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︎ Jul 07 2021
What do you call some some who won't great cheese for you?
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︎ Jul 03 2021
During family dinner, I looked at my wife and announced to everyone "Tonight guys, my wife and I will have some great, great sex."
"Thomas!" she shouted. "Not at the table!"
I said, "No, preferably somewhere a bit comfier."
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︎ Jul 04 2021
Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...
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︎ Jul 04 2021
Why do great white sharks chase after Superman in the ocean?
Because he has a seal on his chest.
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︎ May 15 2021
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints!
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︎ Jun 21 2021
What type of fish tastes great with custard?
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︎ May 26 2021
What wears a pointy hat and has great rhythm?
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︎ Jun 24 2021
Argon enters a bar, the bartender says βWe donβt serve noble gases here.β
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jul 06 2021
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
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︎ Jun 24 2021
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
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︎ Jul 05 2021
"ground" the kid
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︎ Jul 03 2021
The great thing about 'reddit' is that it tells you when you've finished reading it
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︎ Mar 29 2021
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
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︎ Jun 27 2021
My neighbor said onion and pi taste great together.
I said "but that's just an opinion."
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︎ Jun 25 2021
What was a very common name in the middle ages?
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
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︎ Jun 24 2021
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
π︎ 6k
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︎ Jul 01 2021
Iβm such a great speller but I canβt spell ironik
Well....... isnβt that ironik
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︎ May 31 2021
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"
"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.
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︎ Jul 03 2021
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
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︎ Jun 28 2021
Here's a great joke my dad does all the time
Me: hi Dad.
My Dad: hi Dad.
Me: but you're my Dad.
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︎ May 31 2021
Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ? Great condition, low mileage.
Only driven from time to time.
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︎ Jul 01 2021
Anyone interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
.. really only driven from time to time.
π︎ 714
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︎ Apr 19 2021
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