Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
really only driven from time to time..
So in a stunning turnabout my 8 year old nailed me with a great dad joke. “What’s the worst smelling monster in mythology?”
Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..
What do Jack the Ripper, Catherine the Great, William the Conqueror, and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Did you hear about the great German pub?
Today’s a great day to go to the cemetery.
It’s dead quiet and people are dying to go out.
What's common between Winnie the pooh and Alexander the great??
I know where to store all the great dad jokes found in this subreddit
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
Y'know elevator jokes are great, but...
If you really wanna step it up, make one about staircases
I know a great knock-knock joke,
KFC were offering great deals on popcorn chicken the other day...
Now that's what I call getting more bang for your cluck.
Matthew McConaughey’s new book is a great read, but he almost didn’t write it…
After some convincing from family and friends he finally said, “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”
I had a really great conversation with a dolphin yesterday.
I don’t know, we just clicked.
The opera wasn't that great.
But it ended on a high note.
I will become the next great god. The embodiment of Thor and Odin’s power.
What’s so great about living in Switzerland?
Well, their flag is a big plus
Trading my male deer for my neighbor's female deer was a great deal.
Inspector Morse is a great detective
He always dots his I's and crosses his T's
On Father's Day, my wife and kids woke me up, lifted their coffee cups and said, "You're great, splendid, magnificent, superb, fantastic"
Me: What's this?
Wife: When I asked you what you wanted for your father's day breakfast, you said 'just a coffee and synonym toast'.
I just thought of a great joke about second guessing
Just remembered a great, Depression-era dad joke my grandfather used to tell...
"If I had some steak, I'd have some steak and eggs, if I had some eggs."
What do you call some some who won't great cheese for you?
During family dinner, I looked at my wife and announced to everyone "Tonight guys, my wife and I will have some great, great sex."
"Thomas!" she shouted. "Not at the table!"
I said, "No, preferably somewhere a bit comfier."
Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...
Why do great white sharks chase after Superman in the ocean?
Because he has a seal on his chest.
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints!
What type of fish tastes great with custard?
What wears a pointy hat and has great rhythm?
Argon enters a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the... Bottom...
(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)
The great thing about 'reddit' is that it tells you when you've finished reading it
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
My neighbor said onion and pi taste great together.
I said "but that's just an opinion."
What was a very common name in the middle ages?
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
I’m such a great speller but I can’t spell ironik
Well....... isn’t that ironik
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"
"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
Here's a great joke my dad does all the time
Me: hi Dad.
My Dad: hi Dad.
Me: but you're my Dad.
Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ? Great condition, low mileage.
Only driven from time to time.
Anyone interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
.. really only driven from time to time.
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