Today completes 1 year since i started paying the gym, and i'm still fat
I think I'll need to go there personally and check what's wrong
What do a fat person in America and a rich person in the UK have in common?
They have a lot of pounds
The cows in America are so fat, you have to wag their tails for them...
However, in Japan, the tail's wag-yuu.
Two idiots were on the roof. The big fat one fell off. Know why the small guy didn't?
My wife asked me "is it just me or is the cat getting fat?"
Apparently "no it's just you" wasn't the right answer.
It doesnt matter if you're tall or short, thin or fat, rich or poor, at the end of the day...
Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...
I saw a fat psychic the other day
She was a four-chin teller.
I had to leave the pub after my friends called me fat.
After we finished our drinks everyone kept saying "You're round".
The fisherman used whale fat as bait with his new shiny hook,but did not catch a thing.
Never judge a hook by it's blubber.
i saw an article about the supposed benefits of drinking milk with no fat
wasn't very interesting so i just skimmed it
What exercise do fat people do the most of?
I met my wife at a fancy dress party. She and her fat friend went as the number ten.
As soon as I saw her, I knew she was the one.
What are the similarities between a nice guy and a fat guy?
People told them both to be the bigger person.
I looked at myself in the mirror today and realised that I am getting fat.
What happened when the fat mushrooms got on the train ?
Well there wasn't mushroom left for the other passengers .
What did the Fat Boy Atomic Bomb say to the Nuclear Bomb when they first met?
The fat acceptance movement...
>!...is the only movement that doesn't involve any actual movement.!<
Why did the clock get fat?
It kept going for seconds.
On the tub of ice cream I bought it said "30% less fat".
What a scam.
I just ate the entire tub and I didn't lose any weight.
Why did the painter get so fat?
The reasons manatees are so fat
Is that they don’t have scales
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
My doctor said lose the fat or die
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...
Ny wife's got so fat, that I've had to keep all the fattening stuff at a place she can't reach....
I was out on a safari when i saw this big, fat, grey animal limping painfully toward a muddy pond. I asked the tour guide if it was injured...
He said, "No, it's just a hip-hurt-potamus"
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
So I'm not fat but I tried the rowing machine
Fat people are always the ones to make change
Because no matter what they always tip the scales
Where do all the fat people live?
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...
The lard ash was everywhere!
A couple of dogs were sitting in the kitchen chewing the fat. First dog says, “I heard a good joke today.” Second dog replies, “Go on then.” First dog continues, “Knock Kno..."
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
My 8 y.o. son just discovered Yo Mama jokes. Here’s the first one he told me: Your Mama’s so fat
Donald Trump’s gonna use her for his border wall.
Hear the joke about a bunch of fat tourists standing in a queue?
It's got a terrible paunch line.
It’s doesn’t matter if you are tall, short, thin, fat, rich, or poor. At the end of the day,
It’s night.
And you are loved.
My wife asked me, “is it just me or is the cat getting fat?”
Apparently, “no it’s just you” wasn’t the right answer
It doesn't matter if you're tall or short, thin or fat, rich or poor, at the end of the day...
Doesn’t matter if you’re black; white; old; young; rich; poor; thin; fat. At the end of the day
It doesnt matter if you’re tall or short, thin or fat, rich or poor, at the end of the day...
It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, at the end of the day....
Wife asked me if it was just her, or if the cat was getting fat.
Apparently it is just you was not the correct response n
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